Oh, and some other stuff happened.
Cena was 2005 Cena for the first ten minutes. He’s always been fun when insulting people (hey, just like The Rock) rather than I AM GENERIC MAN AND I GENERALLY HATE EVIL. Someone complained that Cena was being misogynistic to an (and I quote) ”emotionally unstable woman”, but the important bit was seeing an evil woman who deserved it getting verbally chewed up and spat out, not the woman-hating aspect of it. I know that will be obvious to some people but sadly stupid people have internet too.
Sheamus won the Rumble and his match is maybe the 4th most hyped and most interesting match at Wrestlemania. Weird. Remember when winning the Rumble was used as part of an established feud rather than using the win to hopefully get someone over by itself?
The hell is Mark Henry wrestling for, isn’t he injured? If he is, you’d think they’d know better in 2012.
Truth and Kofi team up! Because they’re both black. And they pinned the tag champions in a non-title match. That’s wonderfully crap.
Ron Simmons in the Hall of Fame! The first black World Champion not named Bobo Brazil! He deserves it to be in the HOF. Funny story: Ahmed Johnson was talking to someone backstage (I forget who) and told them they wanted to be the first black world champion. The person pointed out Simmons had already achieved this, to which Johnson replied ”Oh, that didn’t count”.
They booked Otunga vs. Big Zeke. AND OTUNGA PINNED ZEKE CLEAN AFTER A MINUTE AND A HALF. This company really doesn’t plan long-term does it? You’d think they’d have Ace strike Big Zeke with his skateboard or something.
Undertaker’s promo was sticky. He sounded like that one Star Trek film where the Klingons awkwardly quote Shakespeare. The crowd WHAT’d him throughout too. Nothing is sacred. Triple H doesn’t want to end The Undertaker’s streak. Undertaker wants Triple H to beat him. It’s weird listening to Undertaker talking about wanting to lose and Triple H not wanting to beat someone knowing what these friggers were like with midcarders during 2001-2004.
Hell in a Cell at Wrestlemania! I’ll reserve judgement until I see it. I thought Undi/HHH was going to be terrible last year but enjoyed it.
There’s more heat for Bryan/Santino than there is Bryan/Sheamus. Santino loses to Bryan in less than a minute. What WWE thinks is a good idea and what I think is a good idea are two completely different things. Santino went from potential world champion to Jobber More Over Than Half The Fucking Roster in one day.
Cena’s spiel is about how much The Rock sucks and does films and has people write his stuff. Pot? Kettle? Awkward stuff here and most of the crowd knows it, as Cena sounds unlikeable because none of his films did 1/457565th as well as any of Rock’s. Also amusing how Cena is doing the British politics thing and saying ”Please cheer for me because the other guy is worse”, which ISN’T WHAT MOST PEOPLE WANT FROM A WRESTLING FEUD. Let me like or hate the guy, I don’t want to see him beg for cheers.
Battle Royal to decide who faces Punk at Wrestlemania! Jericho is in it. So are Santino, Kofi and Truth. Did they only bring half the roster? Great Khali gets eliminated less than a minute in, which would usually be bad but given that most of the matches have lasted that length tonight, he still retains what little aura he has.
Dolph gets tossed out by Big Show onto Barrett and Truth…Dolph splats on the announce table face-first and Barrett suffers an arm injury. ANOTHER injury? And you sadly know it’s genuine because he’s shouting ”FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK”. Kofi also nearly splats himself avoiding Vickie on the outside as he is tossed. Jericho wins a pointless match.
Overall Some entertainment overshadowed by a bunch of negatives. Same as every week, then.
RageHate in Bold and Caps Lock: HEY WWE! THOSE GUYS YOU’RE OVERWORKING, NOT GIVING ANY STORYLINES TO AND HAVING LOSE IN LESS THEN A MINUTE? THEY’RE THE GUYS WHO WILL BE HERE AFTER WRESTLEMANIA, NOT UNDERTAKER OR TRIPLE H OR ROCK. JUST SAYING.
(Thanks to the guy/gal who made and brought the sign, let me know your name if you want thanking!)