Watching all those old intros made me smile. ‘Thorn in Your Eye’ is best, as it gets you pumped up to watch wrestling. Even if you don’t know what they’re saying.
I MISS TWO RAWS AND DEL RIO’S THE CHAMPION. Nice of the Sheamus/Big Show feud to end in typical WWE fashion.
My mate: ”Big Show’s balls probably weigh five pounds each.” (‘My mate’ may or may not have been drunk on Irn Bru.)
Vince McMahon’s face in 2013 looks like a dried-out ball sack.
Bob Barker reminding us that 2009 was a terrible year for Raw. (And Barker was probably the best Guest Host too.)
I want a Jurassic Park match between Brodus Clay and Daniel Bryan: Funkasaurus vs. Goat (Given both men’s track record in 2012, they’d both end up losing).
Barrett beat Orton clean?! GO BARRA GO.
”And he’s got a great beard!” gets pop of the night.
Kane chokeslams Sandow. Cole: ”Just like Pavlov’s Dog!”
My mate: ”I’d be more impressed with Kane if fire came out of his arse.”
I want to hear Stephen Hawking’s explanation of Del Rio’s Frankensteiner on Big Show.
I could name all the gimmicks in the Wrestlecrap montage. I have spent my time well.
Charles Robinson’s dye-job is better than Kaitlyn’s.
Kaitlyn wins, which means we get to hear the awesome first five seconds of her theme song!
So apparently Eve quit after Raw. The Divas Division is in a worse state than HMV.
I dislike wrestlers getting bald-cuts. Dammit Punk, grow it back.
They show blurred footage during the vehicular montage. WWE’s legal statuses make no sense. (Or ‘they just re-used an old montage to save time and effort.’)
My mate when Vickie Guerrero appeared on screen: ”WOAH WHAT THE HELL IS THAT OH GOD”
Rock and Sock have a lot of dead air in their segment…so one fan shouts ”SUPER DRAGON!” very loudly. I love you.
Miz’s gimmick is ”The dude who works at Butlins.’
Flair ”I’ve got four ex-wives man, I need a job!”
Antonio Cesaro’s gimmick would be 10x greater is he was Chinese.
Cesaro’s dialogue with Flair has been the best it’s been since he started WWE. He’s finally hit that groove. *waves American Flag*
Brodus Clay is Blockbusters: An out-dated gimmick that serves no purpose in 2013 other than to remind us what the early 90s were like.
I hope Dr. Shelby teams up with Kane & Bryan at Rumble, forcing Rhodes Scholars to team up with Pavlov for a six-man match.
Antonio Cesaro: The deadliest thing to hit America since diabetes.
HERE’S YOUR MAIN EVENT LADIES AND GENTLEMAN. Dolph gets no entrance.
My Mate: ”I hate cage matches. They’re too over the top.”
ONE DOES NOT SIMPLY PIN JOHN CENA
Ziggler/Cena was the funniest cage match I’ve seen in years. Big E scaring Cena into climbing the cage was absolutely hilarious.
My mate: ”Cena’s kicking out of all of Ziggler’s finishers…he should try just slitting his throat.”
AJ stays on the cage after the match, spends rest of show in rafters talking to Sting from 1997.
Fuck these miserable bastards who said Raw 20 sucked, this has been great. Rock Concert, Kane/Bryan, Rhodes Scholars, Flair/Cesaro…
MAFFEW I THOUGHT RAW SUCKED, PLEASE AGREE WITH ME TO JUSTIFY MY DISILLUSIONMENT P.S. I’M GOING TO WATCH RAW EVERY WEEK UNTIL I DIE ANYWAY (Everytime I watch Raw, it’s with friends and good food. This greatly improves the quality of the show because I simply don’t have the time to be miserable. There was plenty of stuff on the show that was the wrong on paper (Ziggler looking like a loser yet again, Big E made to look inferior to Cena already etc.) but I’m too busy enjoying the good moments on the show to get worked up about it.)
People were moaning about the lack of stars? Fit Finlay, Jamie Noble and Arn Anderson appeared at the end!