I sit myself down and get ready for MNR and then I hear the words ”welcome to the Season Premier of MNR!” from HHH & Steph so I switch the speed to 1.4x (thanks VLC) because it’s going to be one of those episodes.


There’s a bit of logic in the company shouting about it being a season premier because it’s obvious they did fuck-all to make last week interesting due to it being Labour Day (or something) and no frigger would be watching. The show got the lowest ratings since since Christmas Eve 2012 so yeah, I’d probably pretend that this is a brand new start of a weekly show too.


Anyway, Raw starts with the now-usual segment of two people who are focused on the the business side of WWE playing people who are focused on the business side of WWE and unashamedly plug the Network and the matches later on. HHH then dances with The New Day which isn’t a good sign as he used to imitate Bad News Barrett before they shit-canned the gimmick.



HHH & Steph are still appeasing Seth Rollins’ crazy demands for status and setting Cena and Sheamus against each other. They’re either going for the incredibly slow build of HHH & Steph starting to groom someone else they can control easier or it’s a plot-line that’s not actually happening and I’m just making it up in my head with the small pieces WWE throws at me.


New Day vs. PTP happens yet again because the tag team division is dead as PPV and one of the only challengers for the titles also play the part of ‘make the champs look good’.


You’d think there’d be hatred or raging fumes from PTP considering New Day beat them for the titles (and every time they’ve faced each other on TV since then) but there’s nothing there because they’ve only had ”we’re wrestling each other on PPV because we won a contender match” to work with as a reason for their title matches. This worked for The Usos vs. Harper & Rowan but when the bad guys are way, way more entertaining than the good guys, you’d think they’d add something else. Well, they did. They added The Dudley Boyz and tossed PTP to the side like of Titus’ slams.


Speaking of which, The Dudleyz were shown watching a TV by standing directly in front of it. THEY’LL NEVER MAKE IT IN THIS BUSINESS.


Xavier plays trombone at ringside (after last week’s Final Fantasy Victory Fanfare, Xavier taunts PTP with The Pink Panther theme at ringside) and proves as a wrestler, manager, University graduate, YouTuber, Gamer, Trombone Player that I’m simply not trying hard enough at life. Titus breaks the trombone, turning himself into Titus O’Heel and then loses because fuck him.


PTP AIN’T GOT NO HEAT, PTP AIN’T GOT NO HEAT

THEY BIG THEY STRONG BUT THEY AIN’T GOT NO HEAT


All the SEASON PREMIER mentions reminded me when Orton and Jericho had a match at Night of Champions 2014 based entirely on one segment of Raw where Orton kicked Jericho and said ”Welcome to the season premier!” As Sheamus vs. Cena proved, you can put two name guys together and have them wrestle but if there’s no storyline or feud or reason or shampoo sponsor to wrestle over, who gives a fuck.


The only thing of note was the crowd chanting ”You look stupid” but not at the guy wearing jean shorts and a bright orange children’s shirt.


Ric Flair is here with Charlotte as she takes on Nikki Bella for the Divas Title. He sadly didn’t spot Sting backstage and instinctively tun on him.


Cole tells us it’s Pediatric Cancer Month, the month formerly known as September. Sting wrestles for WWE FOR THE FIRST TIME EVERRRRRRR before they whisper gently ”on monday night raw” and then even quietly ”against the big show” before finishing with a barely audible ”we’re sorry.”


Paige wrestled Sasha Banks. Crowd got behind Paige and she was obviously powered up by that as she murdered Sasha with a German Suplex. But because it’s 2015 she recovered in about ten seconds. I don’t get it. Banks won with The Bank Statement something something Divas Revolution.


Funny seeing WWE fall back on the Enormous Muscle Dude route for the new Wyatt member when the NXT roster is right there for the pinching. Must be because of the success of Mason Ryan, Big Zeke…


Fuck it, we should take bets on how quickly the guy’s injured. Not that I want that to happen. Or that I’m inferring anything from his physique. Cough.


Miz interviews Bray Wyatt and just flat-out asks Bray ”what do you want?” Ha! Miz is great when not wrestling.


Ambrose & Reigns don’t reveal their partner for Sunday but assured The Wyatt Family they found someone. Anybody but Orton and I’m good. This feud has done more for Braun than it’s done Ambrose & Reigns (which seems a bit counter-productive considering those two could be head-liners).


Cole’s changed his usual Network shill line”It’s like Netflix but better!” to ”It’s like Netflix but better value!” but still doesn’t say how or why.


Good Guy Ryback does an absolutely horrible Elvis impression, gets booed. The WWE Creative definitely have their finger on the pulse but it’s on Vince’s wrist to make sure he’s alive. You can almost see the crowd go ”yeah we get it, we’re in Memphis.”


Owens comes out and brings up Ryback’s great promo where he talked about The Secret book. Owens mocks Ryback needing a book to help him but he’s the IC Champion and he’s not losing on Raw every week so Owens could probably benefit from reading that too. Honestly though, they talked shit to each other and gave each other the stare-down and I enjoyed this. The matches should be good too.


I like Ryback. He’s a big dumb guy and usually avoids the shite creative decisions like ”sing Elvis”.


They show clips of Sting winning matches but put a washed-out filter and make 1997 WCW look like Man of Steel. They should have gone the whole way and had it look like The Vaudevillians intro.



They showed a lot of recap and video packages to make the Divas Title/Nikki Bella’s reign seem important. If only they’d done more of this on Raw there’d be less JBL chants. They wrestled with the crowd making genuine noise (!!!) until Charlotte rolled up Nikki for the pin, the title and her Dad’s pride. If you were watching Raw for the first time (which I think WWE hopes some people were) you’d think the Divas Title was a mega-legit-super-belt.


…ah wait it was Brie. Steph comes out to call it a DQ (which it wasn’t at Money In The Bank earlier this year, but whatever) but made the rematch for Night of Champions.


See, I thought this was grand because even if they lose on Sunday Nikki will have beaten the record so they dicked Charlotte out of not just the title but the accolade of stopping the record (for the pride of women Divas or whatever the Revolution is about) so NOW there’s a reason for them to feud and there’s an emotional investment for the crowd to get behind other than ”cheer them they have ovaries.” I’d say this was the nearest thing the Divas division had to Rollins turning on The Shield.


Before, everyone hated the Bellas. Now they REALLY hate them.


And even better, this is exactly what Paige said would happen if the Divas didn’t unite against The Bellas. They didn’t unite and they’re still champ! How’s that for continuity?


Not that I’m saying the Divas Division is changed and everything is great in the world, Lord No. But they got a lot of things right at once in this show and I like to give credit where credit is due.


The Ascension joining Stardust is a step in the right direction for them. Then again, any direction not facing Orlando is in the right direction at this point.


Rusev wrestles Cesaro in the death-spot usually reserved for Divas. Match was just an excuse for Ziggler to come out, give Summer Rae a gift, distract Rusev so Cesaro could win and then superkick Rusev after the match. Bloody hell Ziggler, laying it on thick there mate.


The Night of Champions video package people are tearing their hair out putting Rusev vs. Ziggler together and figuring out who the bad guy is supposed to be. So Rusev treated Lana badly after she said I QUIT on his behalf against Cena. Ziggler defended her so he’s the good guy, right? Except Ziggler is intent on ruining Rusev & Rae’s relationship by towelling near her on Raw and playing tonsil hockey in front of the new couple. Maybe Ziggler’s a good guy but loves women in a relationship, like James Bond. Or Idi Amin.


Sting steals statues, Ziggler ruins relationships, Ryback butchers Elvis. This is why WWE bad guys get cheered, they’re more human than the supposed good guys.


Oh and the main event of Sting vs. Big Show went a few minutes before Rollins ran out for the DQ and they turned it into a tag match with Cena. The good guys won. I think someone finally looked at Sting’s win-loss record and thought ”fuck”, hence the two quick wins before the old man wrestles the WWEworldheavyweightUStitlechampion on Sunday.


So.


Good times: New Day, Owens/Ryback, Charlotte/Bella


Bad times: SEASON PREMIER, Ziggler’s a sex-pest, SEASON PREMIER, Netflix is shit why would you want Netflix fuck ’em I heard you can watch Mr. Nanny and Suburban Commando on there with er that guy 9.99 9.99 9.99


Better than last week’s show but that was never in doubt.

  • Codster9

    I hate the Bellas to the point I don’t want to watch anything involving them. To be fair, I hated them that much already.

    • Senor Pene

      bella mom’s pussy and laurinatis’s dick say hi.

      • AJ

        Is he still working for the company? I thought Johnny Ace retired.

        • Senor Pene

          his dick hasn’t.

      • Drew

        Is he still working for the company? I thought Johnny Ace retired.

  • Eric Eells

    Good write up mate. Looking forward to more of these.

  • MPT

    Actually the tag team division is alive and well; the Divas Revolution is about not just looks, but about great women’s wrestling.

    • Catherine Bouey

      The tag-team division is alive?

      Could’ve fooled me.

      • MPT

        New Day, Dudley Boyz, Prime Time Players, Ascension, Lucha Dragons, Usos, Los Matadores

        • Catherine Bouey

          Correct me if I’m wrong but for the last few months (if not years)
          hasn’t division essentially had instances where.

          – Teams are reduced to jobbing (Los Matodores,Lucha Dragons, The Ascension, Luke Harper & Erick Rowan).

          – One of the guys gets sidelined with injuries leaving the team in limbo (One of the Usos, Tyson Kidd, Erick Rowan, one of the Matordores) or a singles push/turn that goes nowhere (Titus O’Neal, Erick Rowan)

          – Who’re super divisive (Los Matodores, The Ascension, The New Day).

          – Used as fodder for 3/4 waytag team matches or 6/8 man tag matches.

          – Have guys get thrown together in teams or stables that make no sense and often don’t last.

          • MPT

            The tag team division is better right now than it was previously

          • Catherine Bouey

            Being stacked with talent does not equal quality.

          • Andrew Thomas Wolf

            How can you mention Los Matadores to support your argument and expect to be taken with any validity?

  • Salen Stormwing

    Sadly, WWE’s Pettiness about AJ and Punk leaving Goes Over by having Nikki get the DQ and keep the belt for another 6 days. How sadly typical of WWE.

    • Q9V

      It’s like CM Punk once said…”Who’s going to be here on Monday?”

      • Catherine Bouey

        Not him :V

    • Catherine Bouey

      To be fair jettison Charlotte to a title run and then winning on the go home episode of Raw was stupid to start with……As was AJ’s 406 day title reign but I digress.

  • Salen Stormwing

    Sadly, WWE’s Pettiness about AJ and Punk leaving Goes Over by having Nikki get the DQ and keep the belt for another 6 days. How sadly typical of WWE.

    • Q9V

      It’s like CM Punk once said…”Who’s going to be here on Monday?”

  • Give anyone else a chance

    I think it’s funny that “having one of the Bellas as champion” is the EXACT answer to the question “How can we make sure that nobody cares about divas wrestling?”.
    It would however also be the perfect answer if, two years from now, Miz asked a coat and top-hat wearing Sir from London, cleverly named Jack T. Repa, what possibly made him hate all those divas he murdered in cold blood.
    A Bella-champion is such a disrespect to women in wrestling, they’d be better off with another episode of Hunter showing some nowadays-Trish how a friggin hammerlock works. Remember the Kane-Lita arc? That story was less cringeworthy and embarassing for all people involved – and that ended in involuntary abortion.
    On that note, here’s a short but in no way exhaustive list of people who would be more convincing as WWE Divas Champion than Nikki Bella:
    1) Cesaro in a wig
    2) El Torito
    3) Mark Henry
    3) Ed Gein
    4) Katie Vick – ironically, “to play the Katie Vick” already refers to the act of getting pinned by Nikki Bella.
    5) Anybody of the Wyatts, no questions asked
    6) John Cena’s cumru.. no, wait, no difference whatsoever

    • Catherine Bouey

      It’s funny that putting a title on a Bella is a perceived as being disrespectful to women’s wrestling but other things such as shitty gimmicks, needless burials and jobbing, dick fan chants, a creeping sense of sexism both at the creative and at the fan level. Is somehow not considered even worse instances of disrespect to the sport
      but of course fans got to be picky and shit on women wrestlers they consider to be talentless while lamenting the loss of such flawless technicians as Sable, Lita, Trish Stratus, & AJ Lee.

      • Fullname J Warrington

        The fact that people can be so salty over Nikki being the divas champ for so long makes it seem to be that Nikki is doing just fine as a heel champ. Besides, as you kinda-sorta pointed out, the Divas division hasn’t exactly been a technically-deep one. Nikki has improved in leaps and bounds over the last 18 months to boot.

        • Catherine Bouey

          No no no we’re not booing her because she’s heel we’re booing her because she’s terrible…And why don’t you do this when Ziggler’s in the ring every week?

          • Fullname J Warrington

            Make up your mind.

          • Catherine Bouey

            Being sarcastic :V

          • Fullname J Warrington

            Very convincing; I probably shouldn’t reply to comments at five in the morning, in hindsight.
            Carry on.

          • Catherine Bouey

            It happens.

      • TokenCommenter

        People don’t like Sable anymore. But the others are legitimately better than Nikki.

        • Catherine Bouey

          I don’t know in what areas exactly.

  • Chepe

    Fuck Cena, Fuck the Bellas, we need more Paige. Nuff said

  • AJ

    To Maffew (Botchamania is awesome and the Hu.. H…. Yappapi strap match intro while being replaced with images of the New Day and pixels will you ever do an 8 bit one in your intros in future episodes or did I miss that?) this is a long comment, but I would appreciate it if you took the time to read my point of view on the matter. I just want to know what your response on what I have to say about what I thought of the outcome of the divas title match.

    I get the theory of how you presented your argument with that outcome in the divas title match. Heel heat is good for the Bella Twins, but it felt like the wrong type of heat and how commentary made Nikki look like a babyface despite having been booked like Seth Rollins (Minus the inconsistency cause at least Rollins despite his booking never flip flopped his alignment and people boo him for the right reasons) making Cole and Saxton sound like hypocrites. That finish was out of spite towards AJ Lee for leaving (not for storyline purposes like they will spin it) and the fact they threw the division under the bus pisses me off. I don’t care how she left if the rumors are true about AJ being “unprofessional” when she left, but WWE’s pettiness makes them look dumb. You did say it followed continuity with what Paige said before the divas revolution started but you know that WWE won’t acknowledge that at all even if you do.

    The idea I had would’ve worked for all involved and even WWE would’ve still erased AJ from the record with Nikki getting a much needed new direction in her character with a lose that matters (I doubt she will believably sell the title loss if Charlotte does win or loses at NOC which will bury Charlotte and the division itself either way). The title needs to go away or keep everyone away from Nikki the title is poison to any divas credibility atm. If Charlotte does win maybe they can pull a Madusa and either throw the title away or Charlotte destroys the title herself. The title itself has been presented as the status quo that the revolution is suppose to be against.

    I never liked the divas title (it was only memorable when the champions had personalities that outshined the title like Michelle, Mickie, Melina, Maryse, and AJ) and the way it could’ve been done is if Charlotte won last night same with the NOC rematch and the next night Paige attacks Charlotte starting the heel turn and Paige doing the unthinkable by destroying the divas title (Like I said before with Charlotte). From there it starts the tourney of the Womens title being brought back with Paige as the heel champion with Nikki losing. It starts driving Nikki insane to the point that it started after her she loses her rematch where Alicia is tired of being their walking gimmick table and says fuck off in a PG way

    • Catherine Bouey

      They could’ve easily had made Paige heel months ago when she returned after being ambushed and taken out by Naomi. getting revenge on Naomi and then attacking Nikki for no reason but no that would’ve made too much sense so Nikki was forced into being heel for no logical reason….and now we have this bullshit that’s been going on sense then with Paige looking super weak after jobbing frequently since then.

      Also they’re never bringing back the women’s title fans much like they’re never getting rid of the ugly looking tag-team titles should except that and just move on.

  • Rheumi

    Disagree about the Divas Match. I already hated the Bellas as I hate them now because there just down midiocre wrestlers.
    But what I really hate about it is that it makes the WWE look like a spoiled child. “What AJ, you left us? Well, I will destroy your record with the next best diva, who holds already the title. I dont care if she cant wrestle. nananaananna”

    Its totally unprofessional. You let the crowd suffer for months…you had to introduce the “divas revolution” because you cant let paige,naomi and nikki feud for 8 month in a row, but you make already let the “revolution” become a joke by not being able to prevent nikki becoming longest divas champ ever anyway. JUST TO ERASE AJ FROM THE MEMORY BOOKS. Man you have problems Vince. You should call a doctor to control your anger….

    • Catherine Bouey

      Aj’s run with the title is often overhyped and overblown by a very odd group of people I’m not surprised they want to erase it much like they did with Kaitlyn’s thankfully brief run with the title……which unfortunately happened at the hands of Aj Lee.

      • Rheumi

        Every record gets erased sooner or later. But why the hell give it to a diva without any talent at all (Nikki Bella) ?

        • Catherine Bouey

          Because Paige,Naomi,Natalya,Tamina,Alica Fox,Summer Rae, Layla, Brie Bella,Cameron,& Emma, weren’t deserving enough I suppose.

          • Rheumi

            Paige, Naomi, Natti, Becky, Charlotte and also Sasha Banks deserve it more than the Bellas who have no qualities in the ring and on the mic.

          • Catherine Bouey

            All but two of those girls weren’t on the card up until a few weeks ago so I purposely left them out.

            Also if we’re going to shit on Nikki & Brie being suspect on the mic can we just throw everyone in the division under the bus for that too in particular anyone with an accent like Paige or Becky Lynch.

          • Rheumi

            Paige and Becky Lynch can wrestle. The Bellas not. So Paige and Becky dont need to be experts on the mic. Its like Cesaro.
            On the other hand. The Miz has just basic wrestling-skills compared to other male wrestlers plus he is not THAT muscular. But he is so damn good on the mic, so WWE doesnt bury him.

            Means: You have to be good at something…

            Plus: Why do you defend the Bellas so much? Fangirl?

          • Catherine Bouey

            I didn’t say anything about wrestling ability which alot of fans tend to think equals likability for some reason eventhough history has rarely shown that to be a recipe for succeeding in the wrestling business. As for them not needing to be good on the mic you’re the first person I can think of that legit believes that not being able to work a mic doesn’t matter especially when that was one of the things that made guys like Ric Flair, Dusty Rhodes, The Rock, Hulk Hogan, & Macho Man etc who they were let’s not hand out special exceptions over that just cause but then hypocritically shit on others for the same flaw.

            And who said anything about defending them just because I don’t needlessly shit on them while throwing my support behind other certain talents like the IWC does doesn’t make me a rabid fangirl (or Fanboy). I just don’t believe in the concept of being overly antagonistic towards certain things either out of blind spite or nostalgia.

          • Catherine Bouey

            I didn’t say anything about wrestling ability which alot of fans tend to think equals likability for some reason eventhough history has rarely shown the latter to be a recipe for succeeding in the wrestling business. As for them not needing to be good on the mic you’re the first person I can think of that legit believes that not being able to work a mic doesn’t matter especially when that was one of the things that made guys like Ric Flair, Dusty Rhodes, The Rock, Hulk Hogan, & Macho Man etc who they were let’s not hand out special exceptions over that just cause but then hypocritically shit on others for the same flaw.

            And who said anything about defending them just because I don’t needlessly shit on them while throwing my support behind other certain talents like the IWC does doesn’t make me a rabid fangirl (or Fanboy). I just don’t believe in the concept of being overly antagonistic towards certain things either out of blind spite or nostalgia then ironically being silent over similar issues or aspects that could earn the same level of scrunity but don’t because I like it more than whatever I’m shitting on.

  • Catherine Bouey

    Review seemed a bit subdued Maff…..Don’t tell me you and E got back together :V

  • Gruntt

    Tag division is dead. Diva’s “revolution” went stale after about 2 weeks.

    What the hell happened to the good old days? Where the champs won matches, but also lost to other teams that fought them, even if said team weren’t the number one contenders? There were no fucking midcard or lowcard tag teams. They were just fucking teams! Now the tag champs squash the other teams. Anyone remember when the Spirit Squad beat Big Show and Kane? Those guys were fucking unstoppable then. But it worked! It made us hate them more! It showed WWE was fair, and that they gave everyone a chance. Now you have to constantly have your lips on Vince’s ass just to win the I.C title!

    Whatever happened to the days when Lita and Trish Stratus were the first women to main event an episode of Raw with a title match? Those women were well oiled machines! They had a bad day or two, but they were good most of the time. The divas now are so fucking clunky and robotic in the ring it’s awkward to watch them. Then of course they make a majority of the divas involved heel.

    This kind of shit doesn’t work anymore, but they don’t care as long as Cena keeps those 8 year olds shoveling Fruity Pebbles down their throats.

  • CMManson

    “Sting wrestles for WWE FOR THE FIRST TIME EVERRRRRRR before they whisper gently ”on monday night raw” and then even quietly ”against the big show” before finishing with a barely audible ”we’re sorry.”” lmao, too good.

  • Dustin Ball

    Not that i agree with this or like or dislike the Bellas but i just feel a lot of people on here are looking to deep into things. The WWE don’t give a stuff whether you hate or like the bellas they make them a shipload of money and that’s all they care about.

  • Kaptain Cirk

    “The only thing of note was the crowd chanting ”You look stupid” but not
    at the guy wearing jean shorts and a bright orange children’s shirt.” Best part of the article. That was fantastic.

  • FilmJenkins, from YouTube

    Hey Maffew, do you still use background interferences like this?
    https://youtu.be/Hcv9sdYTNH4?t=4m30s