Most Botched Matches 2016







10. Cody & Brandi Rhodes vs. Mike & Maria Bennett, TNA Impact

(Cody and Brandi are a meal deal when you only want a drink because you’re thirsty. But the sandwich hasn’t finished cooking yet.)


9. Charlotte vs. Sasha Banks, WWE Hell In a Cell

(It’s got to suck when two wrestlers have fine TV matches and then have a mess of a match on PPV. Honourable mention to Canadian tag team 3.0 fucking up the neck brace.)


8. Zodiak vs. Deadly Dale, IWA-MS POTDM

(The token indie match. What a year it was when this was my only choice. Everyone stepped up their game this year, indies need to fuck up more man.)


7. Su Yung vs. Leva Bates, WSU Breaking The Barriers 4

(Oh wait ignore what I just typed.)


6. The Hunter Bros. vs. The Facesmashers, Fight Club Pro Project Mayhem V

(And now the token UK match. In fairness, it was the table that was the issue (to state the obvious) but an eliminated wrestler having to assist the slay the beast entertained me.)


5. Charlotte vs. Sasha Banks, WWE Summerslam

(I preferred these two when they weren’t trying to kill one another.)


4. Shane McMahon, WWE Survivor Series

(Yeah no-one else, just him. People said I was too nice on him at Survivor Series and after re-watching the match I agreed. Because the match was nearly an hour and featured great moments it was still enjoyable but holy shit at Shane’s punches/dives/ability to get knocked out in the main event of a PPV.)


3. Knockouts Gauntlet Battle Royal, TNA One Night Only: Live

(I pussied out because I didn’t want back-to-back women’s matches for the top slots. You think this wouldn’t matter but go try criticising any women wrestler on Twitter and watch what happens. Anyway this was pure awful


2. Enzo & Cass vs. Vaudevillains vs. no name vs. The New Day, WWE Money In The Bank

(Messier than a side-of-the-road cafe omelette.)


1. Shelly Martinez vs. Rebel, TNA One Night Only: Knockouts Knockdown

(Even though this is a top ten list, don’t be fooled. There were no other contenders for the Most Botched Match accolade. Even by the standards of TNA jokes it’s still crazy this pre-taped match aired and TNA was like ”yeah this is fine.” A fake account posted Shelly retired after the match, in truth she hadn’t. And why should she? The only way is up after this!


Music…

Radio Control by Shinobu Amayake (Stunt Race FX)

Level 1 ~ Gaulish Village by Nathan McCree (Asterix and the Great Rescue)

Stage Theme 18 by Hirohiko Takayama, Tsukamoto (Lemmings, Mega Drive)

Level 9 Food and Drink by Patrick Collins, Randy Newman, Andy Blythe, Marten Joustra and Allister Brimble (Toy Story, Mega Drive)

Vampire Killer by Kinuyo Yamashita (Castlevania)

Hidden Race Song by Jun Ishikawa, Dan Miyakawa (Kirby Super Star)

Hollywood Heights by Mitch Murder (Hotline Miami 2: Wrong Number)

Ancient Lake by David Wise (Diddy Kong Racing)


Most Botched Match Endings 2016







10. BT Gunn vs. Davey Blaze, ICW Wrestleteria


9. Candice Larae & Johnny Gargano vs. EC3 & Karlee Perez, AIW Absolution


8. Suicide vs. David Starr, TNA One Night Only: X-Travaganza 4


7. Big E vs. Mark Henry, WWE Raw 02/15/16


6. Bea Priestley vs. Nixon Newell, WCPW Loaded 08/08/16


5. Kimber Lee vs. Nixeon Newell, WCPW Refuse To Lose


4. Bayley vs. Dana Brooke, WWE Raw 10/17/16


3. Frankie Pickard vs. Jimmy Lloyd, CZW Night Of Infamy


2. Polo Promotions vs. Team 3D, ICW Fear & Loathing IX


1. Drew Galloway & Johnny Gargano vs. Caleb Konley & Anthony Nese, EVOLVE 58


Music…

Goldenrod City’s Theme by Junichi Masuda, Go Ichinose (Pokemon Gold)

Battle Lose Result by Nintendo (SPLATOON)

Password by Kozo Nakamura, Tomoya Tomita, Kenichi Matsubara, Yoshinori Sasaki, Satoko Minami, Kenji Fukui (The Lone Ranger)

Adventure Begins by Hironao Yamamoto, Shohei Bando, Kazuhiko Sawaguchi (Mario Party 2)


No notes on this apart from a big thanks to EVOLVE for letting that ending be used. THANKS GABE.


So please let me know if any match should have been included so I can pretend to care.

  • ballz

    my vag 2016 is the worst sorry but honestly ricochet vs ospreay should have been on here horrible match just a gymnastics show, no real wrestling maybe 1 or 2 arm bars but that’s about it.

    • Aaron Paul Teasdale

      But they didn’t botch anything so it wouldn’t make sense it being on a most botched list.

      • ballz

        it was a disgrace to pro wrestling just horrible match worst of 2016 hands down.

        • Catherine Bouey

          Well sure if you’re just looking to complain for the sake of complaining but I know most of us would prefer a match with none of the moves being messed up, at the expense of psychology than to have a legitimately awful wrestling match where nothing ever seems to go right.

    • Rebel Coyote

      Vader? Is that you?

      • ballz

        it’s time it’s time damn my watch isn’t working.

  • Christy Mcdermott

    No Ariston this year?

  • I swear that #4 for botched matches to me looked so much like Roman k.o.ed himself and Shane, not just Shane. I guess he had to sell the fuck outta that because he did?

    • Catherine Bouey

      Well he did tuck his headin a little bit too much.

      • Placid_Snake

        Yeah, looks like he hit himself pretty hard too and even though he’s small by the other guys’ standards, Shane is still a pretty big dude. Add to that the momentum of Roman spearing + Shane diving and I can see how he’d be a bit dizzy after that.

  • Pres.Clint Dempsey

    Fembot[ch]amania when Maffew?

  • ReinEngel

    Charlotte Flair is horrible.

    • Pres.Clint Dempsey

      Is she David’s fraternal twin?

    • Catherine Bouey

      B-B-But the Four Horsewomen.

  • Catherine Bouey

    (I pussied out because I didn’t want back-to-back women’s matches for
    the top slots. You think this wouldn’t matter but go try criticising any
    women wrestler on Twitter and watch what happens.)

    What happens people start laughing at the fact that someone used “women” instead of “woman” while trying to correct them?

    • PJ_Almighty42

      Seems apropropospoo…Women’s rasslin…

  • motorheadbanger

    I nearly soiled myself during the last 60 seconds of the most botched matches. Well done, sir. Well done!

  • CSSA

    How is Shane dying considered a botch, but Enzo’s botch wasnt? I call it a botch because Gotch threw him through the middle ropes, but Enzo went low rope.

  • MisterForth

    Both videos are hilarious. Drew’s statement in particular.

  • Tyler Coleman

    What’s going on with the music credits? The Knockout Gauntlets music is definitely Punch-Out but that’s not listed. I was trying to figure out what the Money in the Bank song was but none of them match up.

  • bossk

    OOOOOOOOOOOOOLE BLUE PANTS!

  • Big Bad Booty Daddy

    these most botched lists aren’t that fun if they’re mostly indieshit where no one knows or cares about who these losers are

  • PJ_Almighty42

    Always the poor waifus…

    They try so hard…Yet suck so much (figuratively and literally in Paige’s case)…