Welcome once again! Here is a quick recap of some of the highlights from this week in the exciting world of wrestling. If you were looking for my summaries of RAW or Smackdown, you’ll find those at the weekend.


If you think I’ve missed anything out, please let me know in the comments.




Dutch Mantell officially back on TNA Impact creative team.


The former Zeb Colter / Uncle Zachariah / Swiss clock-maker cosplayer is, once again, a part of the TNA Impact Wrestling creative team. He previously had been a part of their team between 2003 and 2009. Many credit him for the early successes of TNA’s Knockouts division. He previously has also booked for Puerto Rico’s WWC, where he is said to have been their sole writer for the better part of five years! Making him the J. Michael Straczynski of TNA bookers, I guess.


Vince Russo, I guess you could call the M. Night Shyamalan of booking TNA. After Unbreakable, it was all downhill.


unbreakable




Pentagon Jr. leaves AAA


The Lucha Underground star announced on Facebook that he has left Mexico’s AAA and is now a free agent.


He will now be going by the name PENTA EL 0M.


Wait, is that a zero in there? I… don’t know how to pronounce that. I’m just going to refer to him as Pentel, from hereon.


pentel


PENTA EL 0M is available to accept bookings from independent companies, right now. As anyone who has seen him wrestle will surely agree, he just might be the hottest free agent in all of wrestling right now.




Paige and Alberto Del Rio host Royal Rumble party.


The loved-up couple will be hosting a special WWE Royal Rumble viewing party, at the La Cantinita restaurant owned by Del Rio. The restaurant is less than half an hour’s drive from the Alamodome, venue for the 2017 Royal Rumble. Click the flyer for more information!


delriopaigerumble


All are welcome, but please note, there is a $5 cover charge, and nobody is allowed to make jokes comparing Paige to Caspar The Friendly Ghost or the Stay Pufy Marshmellow Man.




Darren Young injured, out for up to six months.


During a recent match for WWE Main Event, Darren Young took a particularly nasty apron bump. He has broken, dislocated and hyper-extended his elbow.


Rumors persist that Bob Backlund refused to allow Darren Young medical treatment, until Young had recited the names of every U.S. President.


backlundnelly


He is expected to be out for up to six months, before the WWE can return to trying to make him grate great again.




Correction.


Last week, I mentioned that the winner of the WWE UK Championship Tournament was Tyler Bate from Wolverhampton.


I got this half right. Tyler Bate is from of course Dudley, famous for its shopping centre and Lenny Henry. His tag-team partner in Mustache Mountain, Trent Seven, is the one who was born in Wolves.


americanwolves


Different wolves. Again, a big congratulations to Tyler!


Now, I was watching Guardians Of The Galaxy again this weekend. You know, wiith Batista in? Well it turns out that the music for Guardians Of The Galaxy is by… Tyler Bates.


tylerbate


No, I said Tyler BateS.


tylerbates


I could try and weave some cockamamie story here to try and amuse you. But I won’t. I’ll just go with the obvious truth. Occam’s razor.


There is more than one of Tyler Bate, and when one of then isn’t winning WWE wrestling tournaments, they’re both scoring their fellow grapppler Dave ‘Batistia’ Bautista in Guardians of the Galaxy. And they’re only 19! That’s some serious talent, my friends.




That’s it for now. Join me again this coming weekend, when I’ll have bite-size recaps of every major televised wrestling show this week, as well as YOUR 2017 WWE Royal Rumble preview.


Until then, why not take the time to enjoy:


The 2016 Botchamania Awards!


Maffew reviews ECW on Sci-Fi #42 03/27/2007!


Danny Damage rants on last week’s RAW!


Until next time…

  • Love those, haha.

  • Reyes Reyes III

    Id imagine the 0M stands for Cero Meiro, so it reads Penta el Cero Meiro. No it makes no god damn sense, Greek prefixes with Spanish after, fn hell.

  • Brian

    its uh. Stay PUFT not Pufy. also the word is Marshmallow

    • ILikeBarryDarsow

      It’s “It’s”, also “Also”.

      • Brian

        Semantics bruh. Don’t be a troll

        • ILikeBarryDarsow

          Hey, you’re the guy correcting this dude’s spelling. Just suggesting you might want to learn how capital letters work first.

          • Brian

            okay so apparently i can’t correct a typo. which on further review is easy because t and y are right next to each other. Also, forgive me for being lazy and not using punctuation. I’m well aware of how these things work. I’m just lazy.

            FYI ALSO I am intentionally using punctuation here.

          • ILikeBarryDarsow

            Laziness ftw