Hello and thanks for showing up to rant, rave and reflect on the latest episode of Monday Night Raw.
During the week.
I’ve made many mistakes in my life, most of which I’ve learned something from. A few weeks ago I made a critical error while watching Monday Night Raw.This to me says that times are hard and Enzo and Cass don’t have the coin to get around and enjoy life like they’d wish to and I’m a keen supporter of any time off that they take, away from my senses. A lot of people are doing Kick Starter nowadays and plenty of other folk just generally stick their hand out for something too.
I wouldn’t have dreamed that anyone would choose to spend an entire day with them, in character, enduring the time literally and figuratively locked into the conversation/immediate vicinity. I would not consider this to be a prize in any way, shape or form.
The whole concept sounds like a nightmare to me, which in turn has given birth to the recurring one I’ve had four nights in a row now where I win the contest thanks to the misunderstanding which encouraged me to set up numerous e-mail addresses in an attempt to temporarily banish the most annoying guys in the room on their merry little way.
We start the show with a recap of Braun Strowman’s rampage and the ring getting busted up last week. WWE are still scoring the package with horror film style tunes, even though it’s been very obvious for the last couple of weeks that the majority of both crowds loved every moment of it!
Does anybody know anyone/anywhere that finds amusement in taking clips like this and editing the music to something more fitting and comical?
I don’t know why, but I’m still pretty disgusted at the WWE’s continued belief that if they caught it on their cameras, they can use/edit it in anyway to re-tell history as they see fit. I understand that they’re trying to paint a picture that compliments the narrative, but if they were actually capable of doing their jobs, they surely wouldn’t need to cut fan reactions from one scenario, staple it onto another and hope nobody notices.
Later on in the show we’ve got some form of budget Mexican/Yankee casket match.One can only assume that if this match is a success, Darth Trump will be straight on the phone to hire Strowman to begin rounding them all up and making them pay for it.
The Miz and The Maryse prevent Chris Jericho from putting Kevin Owens on The List of Jericho again.
Some fantastic banter with the crowd from The Miz, he barely needs to make any effort and you can tell Maryse’s sideways smile twitches when her husband pisses off an entire arena with a small mouthful of words.
After taking over the Highlight Reel and have his monkeys replace the set, The Miz is cut off by Dean Ambrose. Dean’s taking over now as Miz TV has also been cancelled.
Jericho and Ambrose kiss and make up after their falling out last year, they both apologise. Jericho for hitting Ambrose with Mitch the plant and Ambrose for destroying Jericho’s $15,000 jacket.
Ambrose then presents a gift to Jericho.Bless, he obviously spent quite a bit of time working on that.
The Miz feels left out and starts gobbing off, to which Ambrose says he brought a gift for him too.Dirty Deeds for The Miz and Jericho builds up to adding another name onto The List of Jericho.
Hats off to Maryse for selling the Fear of Jericho………’s list.She was almost as traumatised as Xavier Woods when he was introduced to it a while back.
We’re teased with bits of Broken Matt Hardy creeping out as the Boyz head to the arena.Reconditioned Matt Hardy vs. Sheamus
It was interesting to see Sheamus be the one to raise his hand and take responsibility after he lost to Matt.Cesaro wanted to start scrapping, but Sheamus admitted it was he who initially pushed Jeff and allowed himself to be distracted afterwards, so he managed to get Cesaro to calm down.
Kurt Angle’s on the phone in his office when The Miz hangs it up on his behalf. Kurt tells Miz to find a partner/co-star as he’s got a tag match against Jericho and Ambrose later tonight.
Neville & TJ Perkins vs. Austin Aries & Jack Gallagher
Austin knocks Perkins out with the Discus Five-arm. Great, fast paced match. As I always say, it’s a shame these lads don’t get a decent showing on Raw more often.
#WWEHeroActually, no. Fuck right off!
#WWEBully is more like it.
Why not address this issue instead of patting yourselves on the back, claiming to be amazing humanitarians and trying to convince us that it’s all rainbows, glitter and smiles in WWE land.
Wankers. Absolute wankers.
Well, that’s a huge coincidence. I can also sum this next segment up by correcting a hashtag.
#DumpMatchAs I expected, Kalisto got a fluky victory, so Braun gave him the Deliverance treatment, trapped him inside the dumpster, and then shoved it off the ramp.It crashed a whole two feet to the floor below.
The video package for Roman Reigns felt like someone had come round for their weekly visit to my house and forced me to watch videos of their favourite child; wanting me to love it as much as they do, if not more.
You know, before slapping you in the face with photographs of them for an additional four hours.
Bray Wyatt gets a turn to play a video he made. Sadly, it’s the same old shit from him.
Alicia Fox vs. Dana Brooke
Emma watches on and pulls the same face as I did at Dana’s sloppy finish.Here’s where I get upset. I’ve said in the past that Dana has potential, but tonight was one of those nights where I’m forced to acknowledge how green she is. Sadly, she’s just one of those that WWE were so desperate to get on TV, they didn’t care she’d missed a bunch of wrestling lessons in the process.
Either put her back with Emma, in a light feud or tagging on house shows/dark matches or move her back onto NXT. Either way, she’d probably be able to learn a bit more than what she’s getting done at the moment.
I’m liking the potential of a stable involving Samoa Joe, Gallows and Anderson. I was a little sad that Kevin Owens went over to Smackdown after working with Joe momentarily, but i think this would work well in its place.
Thanks to a pre-match assault/elimination of Enzo Amore, the match changes after the break and Finn Balor is added to the mix.
Samoa Joe, Gallows & Anderson vs. Seth Rollins, Big Cass & Finn Balor.
Seth hesitated using the Pedigree and finished with a short-arm jumping knee strike instead.
Alexa Bliss scowls down to the ring to give Bayley and the crowd a bit of shit. This brings Bayley out to laugh and smile about the matter, obviously.
Why do people cheer Bayley’s gimmick and boo John Cena’s? They’re practically brother and sister!
Fuck off, Sasha. No-one asked you. You obviously don’t know what a troll doll looks like if you’re calling Alexa one!
Sasha Banks vs. Alexa Bliss
Bliss runs away in fear and jumps Bayley on her way to the back.
Ambrose and Jericho continue to patch things up in the locker room. Ambrose thinks he convinced Jericho to take him off the list. Ambrose leaves and Jericho may/may not have put him back on it once his back was turned.
Charles The Dwarf, The Miz, Heath Slater and Curtis Axel plug The Marine 5. Miz tries to recruit a last minute tag parter but he instead gets handed a note from an interested party. This puts a big smile on his face.
Curt Hawkins vs. Apollo Snooze
Urgh. It’s the Charlotte Flair argument all over again.
Yes, Apollo’s athletic, but he has the personality of cheap cat food.
My main beef with Apollo isn’t that he smiles too much, it’s the fact that his smile would only work if he was hiding in a hedge in a public park at 02:00am watching drunk girls try to stagger home.
WWE try to make us feel bad for Roman Reigns regarding the news of his brother’s passing. Don’t get me wrong, this is very sad news. But if the WWE had dealt with Roman in a more natural manner way back when he first started getting a reaction different from Vince’s expectations, he could’ve become the the most evil, dirtiest heel by now, hated by all.
With that being said, my point is that even if that was the case, when something like this comes along, people would be a hell of a lot more inclined to sit back, remember it’s all a work and give Roman some peace and respect instead of just remembering they don’t like the guy that’s been rammed down our throats and rubbed in our faces for years now.
They wouldn’t have to get the violin out, play a sad song and break their necks telling us to feel bad for the bloke.
I literally fell asleep during the Roman/Strowman promo package they used to hype Payback.
Granted, I’d done a hard day’s graft and I was shattered, but I was fine up until we got to see the trailer for Vince’s home-made porno; Big, Sweaty Men (vol. 52) .
I had to soldier on from this point the next day after work.
Chris Jericho & Dean Ambrose vs. The Miz & To Be Announced
The Miz received word that he had a partner on the way. So, for the majority of the contest, it’s a two on one handicap match.
Miz tries to flee, but Ambrose cuts him off and sets him up for Dirty Deeds through the announce table.
But then the lights drop.Bray Wyatt flattens Ambrose’s face into the WWE’s “our ad tactlessly here” display. Then both heels take care of Jericho in the ring and get the pin-fall.The Miz gets hit with Sister Abigail just for fun. I don’t know what else Miz expected!
Apart from Jericho, Ambrose, Miz and Maryse stealing the show, I don’t really have anything of interest to say that I haven’t mentioned already.
I will point out how fucking ridiculous Michael Cole looked when it was very obvious he was being fed lines on the fly and he was trying to wrap his mind around whatever micro managing he was putting up with.You can’t really blame the guy for being the frail, blubbering, stress-mess that he is. Just give the poor bastard a script and leave him to it if you have to get involved. I’d suggest giving less than that and letting them do their own thing on the table with loose guidance, but we all know that’s not going to happen with over-compensating control freaks living in their ears.
Digest and discuss! Please feel free to do so below or via Twitter.