Join me as I shout at WWE No Mercy 2017 before it’s even happened!
If you’ve even taken notice of my words in the past, you’ll know that I grew tired of Enzo Amore a hell of a long time ago and I feel he’s done nought but leave shitty skid-marks everywhere he’s been since joining the Raw roster, until now.
Neville vs. Enzo Amore
Regardless of Enzo’s terrible character, he knows what he’s doing in the ring; Neville’s one of the best workers that Raw has and this match really does have the potential to be a classic.
I’m hoping Neville retains, but I wouldn’t be surprised if they put the belt on Enzo for a while instead.
Enzo shifts a lot of merchandise and is well over with a lot of fans. I’ve said for a long time that I think the Cruiserweights should be interacting with the rest of the roster and Enzo has been doing just that, meaning I’d reluctantly be cheering him on in one respect as it would be good for the 205 Live brand.
A rare “No facepaint allowed” match makes an appearance next.
Finn Balor vs. Bray Wyatt
This contest is titled “man to man” despite ninety percent of Bray Wyatt’s dialogue over the years has been that he’s a God and not a mortal.
What holds the tiniest bit of interest for me between these two is how creative their interactions COULD be if people backstage were better at their jobs.
The fact that they’re stripping back all the powers and over-the-top theatrics is not a selling point for me and I feel they’re just dragging this out for the sake of it.
Here’s a chance for them to prove me wrong though. They could have Bray win and then begin to command Finn/The Demon with a chain around his neck or something.
Make use of their unique characters/traits and don’t just do the same shit you do with everyone else but with face-paint on instead!
The honeymoon period of the Shield reunion tour continues to roll along nicely.
Ambrollins vs. Sheasaro
Following a fantastic triple-threat tag-team match on Raw, my expectations are high for this.
I can’t see Dean turning on Seth just yet.
I think he’ll maybe wait until merchandise sales slow down a bit, so I’m guessing the former Shield members are keeping the gold.
Treated as an afterthought, the Intercontinental Championship match was only set-up a mere six days before the show.
The Miz vs. Jason Jordan
Fingers crossed that The Miz comes out on top and WWE aren’t daft enough to think Jordan’s getting over how they wanted/expected him to.
By all means, give the young lad some experience and let him work with The Miz and co., I’m sure there are lots of things he can learn from them.
The Mizterons are more than likely getting involved in the finish to help Jordan look as legitimate a threat as possible and to show why they’re both on the pay still.
Do you need a piss?
Would you fancy a momentary break to refill your drink and/or bowl full of snacks?
What a happy coincidence, we have just the thing to facilitate your needs whilst continuing the show!
Sasha Banks vs. Alexa Bliss vs. Emma vs. Nia “The Bitch-Fister” Jax vs. Bayley
Get all the vaginas out there in one fell swoop just so we can say we support equal rights and all that noise.
Adverts during SummerSlam suggested multiple opponents for Alexa Bliss, WWE just took their sweet time getting to their final decision and I’m beyond caring by this point.
Enough of this nonsense, bring on Asuka!
I really wouldn’t like to put any of my own money on this next one, WWE really could go either way with it.
John Cena vs. Roman Reigns
Cena has been verbally annihilating Reigns for the duration of this feud. I’m guessing that this is where Roman’s going to stop looking like a sack of dog shit and he’ll pick up the win.
But following that path of logic in my head also invokes a few contradictions as he’s against Super Cena.
In my opinion, which of Vince’s toys does he like the best is ultimately what this will come down to. So yeah, I’m sticking with Roman.
I suppose some kind of shenanigans could occur to bring it to a draw so they can settle things at WrestleMania.
And lastly, this one should be fun in a bun.
Braun Strowman vs. Brock Lesnar
My gut says that Brock’s retaining here and holding onto the strap until WrestleMania, but I can at least cross my fingers that they give it to Braun instead.
I feel Strowman’s ready and that Brock doesn’t need a belt to be the draw that he is; level 100 Brock being absent on a more often than not basis just to return and German Suplex someone for five to ten minutes before finishing them with an F-5 became a bit lackluster a while back for me.
Whichever way this brawl goes, it’s sure to be ten to fifteen minutes of two big, sweaty men battering the utter piss out of each other!