It’s been a while since the pair of us have had the time to write about 205 Live. Not everyone loves cruiserweight action but for those of us In The Know, it’s maybe the secret most fun show on TV each week! Let’s watch…

205 Live

26th September 2017

We begin with a recap of the ending of the last WWE Raw. Some would say tha Enzo Amore has become an unlikeable bell-end. Some would say he’s always been one. Either way, his dumbfounding victory over Neville at No Mercy has had the effect of uniting the whole cruiserweight division against Enzo.

Aware of this, Enzo has got Kurt Angle to fix it for him so that he has a ‘no contact’ clause. Nobody can hit him, nobody can so much as touch him. He’s basically holding the Cruiserweight Championship hostage!

This was too much for Neville, who gladly got into the ring and beat the crap out of Enzo as a receipt for the insufferable taunting he’s had to listen to.

After Raw finished, even Braun Strowman came out to deliver a vicious beating on Enzo! Good.

Welcome to 205 Live! Your hosts are Vic Joseph and Byron Saxton. Byron is subbing for that British guy this week.

The show starts with the new champion, Enzo, making his way out. He’s on crutches, still showing all of the signs of the mauling he received.

Hooray, he’s in pain!

He still has his fans cheering for him, but by and large the crowd see him now for the douchefest that he truly is.

Enzo gets a “You deserve it!” chant from the crowd. He deserves IT, maybe.

The only clown bigger than Enzo Amore.

Enzo brags about the title is now on ice, thanks to him and his ‘no contact’ clause. He’s not giving out any title shots. He’s retiring the title if he has to!

In the back, Drew Gulak is walking, “NO CHANTS” sign in hand. He is to perform commentary on the next match.

He’s standing in the hallway so that means he wants NO CHANTS! NO CHANTS IN HALL!

That match is now, as the ripped, arrogant Tony Neese faces the exciting and charismatic Akira Tozawa!

The contest sees Neese dominate with his speedy routine. He’s like a more streamlined Lex Luger, fast but powerful.

It’s like he’s smuggling gold bars under he’s skin.

On the outside, Gulak has me laughing with pretty much everything he is saying. It’s great stuff, he’s so deluded, the poor fool.

Tony Neese and Drew Gulak shout out their mutual respect to each other. “I love you!” assures Gulak to Neese. Aww, they’re bros! That’s sweet.

Despite Azira trying to fight back, Gulak largely stays in control. You know, it’s a good thing that Gulak is out here. Byron quiet.

Akira starts to mount his comeback, which leads Drew to warn Akira that he’d better not attempt his high spots.

But Akira is defiant, diving through the ropes to the outside, knocking Neese for six! Drew Gulak is most upset by this exciting high spot.

Akira gets the win! Drew Gulak takes to the outside with his siren to protest.

In fact, it’s time for… the latest part of his Powerpoint presentation!

This week, he explains us to all that it’s very important that there is no celebrating!

Jeez, get a life already Drew. Tozawa lets Gulak know what we are all thinking, by kicking him hard in the head.

Backstage, Arya Daivari suggests an allegiance with Enzo Amore. Enzo can trust Daivari, Daivari promises. He’s not like the others! He wants to be Enzo’s friend. 🙂 🙂

Enzo’s just lonely and foolish enough to maybe believe him. He agrees to an alliance, temporary though it might be. Tonight, Arya is fighting Neville. Now Enzo will be the corner man for the Persian pugilist.

To cement the moment, Daivari says “How you doing?” Enzo gets all hissy about that in a total douche-chill moment. Funny!

We are reminded that last week, Rich Swann was expecting a match with Lince Dorado. But, Lince was attacked backstage, seemingly by TJP, who ran out to attack Rich Swann when Swann went to check on Dorado.

It’s time for a match – out comes TJP!

He is to face Lince Dorado. Who, this week, is thankfully able to make it out without assault.

But here comes Rich Swann! He’s out here hard and fast during Dorado’s entrance, straight into the ring, to pummel the bejeezus out of TJP.

TJP manages to flee the ring to the safety of the crowd, barely!

Lately we have seen how Jack Gallagher has proven himself to be rather less than a gentlemen in recent weeks. Ever since he was taken under the shadowy wing of Brian Kendrick, there has been a dreadful change in Jack.

Last week the duo were responsible for a vicious 2-on-1 attack on Cedric Alexander, including a wicked headbutt from Jack, the dastardly rogue.

“Mate. Got a quid for the bus mate? Got two quid?”

Jack talks ominously of the coming of winter and all I can think of is that something has happened to harden his heart, to turn it cold. Maybe only Kendrick knows truly why. But he’s not telling. Just sneering darkly. Brrrrr, is it cold in here?

The former Cruiserweight champion Neville makes his way out. He may no longer be the champion but he still is YOUR main event.

Neville goes to speak, but is forced to stop when the unruly mob that is the American audience start to chant for his name, like the unmannered lot that they are.

Finally, he is treated with the respectful hush which a great man like he is accustomed to.

He admits that last night by beating up Enzo, he has violated the No Contact clause and as such, has lost his contracted rematch.

Balls, there goes my hope of a quick, painless end to Enzo’s reign of terror.

But, Neville considers this to be totally worth it. He got to beat up that “talentless rat”, Enzo Amore. Neville is determined not to let the high standards of 205 Live be ruined by the new Cruiserweight champion.

Good man, Neville!

Speaking of Enzo, here he comes, out as a second for Neville’s opponent, Daivari.

The bell rings – and immediately, Neville dives out to threaten Enzo Amore some more.

Daivari capitalizes on this and starts using his strength, which is arguably greater than that of Neville, to control his British opponent.

Enzo’s cheerleading from the outside seems to be working, as Arya Daivari starts to grind down the fearless man from Newcastle. He places Neville into the tree of woe and lays into Neville with stiff kicks to the abdomen.

Arya lifts up Neville enough to deliver what I can only describe as a kind of reverse powerbomb off the corner post. Something like that.

Neville keeps trying to mount a come-back, struggling against the powerful Daivari’s offence and the totally punchable Enzo’s taunting and cat-calling. Enzo is insistent that Neville is like Gollum wanting his precious back.

Enzo, bro, you look like Snarf and Cheetara from Thundercats had a drunken night stand that neither of them is too proud of, know what I’m saying?

He even sounds like his Dad, Snarf snarf!

At last, Neville is able to fully grasp the upper hand. Now it is Daivari’s turn to be left slumped in the corner, kicks raining down on him.

But Enzo is still mocking Neville on the outside and Neville gives in and gives chases after, which allows Daivari the chance to catch up and capitalise. But not for long, because Neville has Daivari wrapped tight inside of the Rings Of Saturn!

It’s a fearsome submission hold and Enzo Amore looks to interfere on behalf of his guy – but he’s too late, much too late.

Daivari taps to Neville’s favorite hold – Neville wins! Neville doesn’t get any chance to celebrate ‘cos here comes Enzo Amore to attack Neville with his crutch.

That’s crutch. I can’t emphasize this enough.

The hated Enzo stands tall outside of the ring with his Cruiserweight championship over his shoulder.

“You deserve it!”, he mocks Neville as the Britisher lies in pain in the middle of the ring. What a champion. A champion pain in the ass.

A pair of fine, fun matches this week. I always love to see me some Akira Tozawa in action and man, Drew Gulak is such a red-tape loving, no fun kill-joy. You’ve got to laugh at what an asshole he is. Or weep, take your pick.

And hey, everything Neville touches in 2017, is gold.

See you again next time / whenever the pair of us actually stop being so damn lazy and finish writing stuff!

  • Just what I needed! I don’t always have time/remember to watch 205 Live, but this is a great way to keep in the loop.

    I’m pretty sure if you go back and watch Snarf in action, you’ll soon see he’s just as irritating as Enzo is now. He certainly annoyed the piss out of me.

    • Bushwhacker P

      To be fair, Enzo annoys the piss out of everyone. So long as he isn’t actually wrestling, he’s pretty great. ;D