Hello and welcome, one and all.
Because I insist on gobbing off on a weekly basis and since WWE are adamant on having 9999 hours of wrestling per week (Raw being 95% of that), my usual shower of bazooka rounds has been replaced with a rather nifty sniper rifle that I’ll be using to highlight the strongest and weakest parts of the show……….or at least just my personal favourite and worst moments.
Unfurl the sails and hoist the anchor as blunt, yet constructive criticism is surely on the horizon!
Despite my better judgement demanding a bathtub-sized, hit of scotch AS SOON AS FUCKING POSSIBLE, I’m giving Bray Wyatt (and Finn Balor to an extent) a chance.
They’ve run the feud between Balor and Bray into the ground already and not a great deal of it has made any sense; this screams to me that it’s time for things to evolve or perish.
Bray informed us that Sister Abigail somehow survived Randy Orton’s attempt at destroying her remains earlier in the year and that she’s now alive.
No additional information was given other than Bray showing us a smoky glimpse of his/Abigail’s power by transforming into an undead version of himself.
I’m all for this! I’m assuming this is Bray at full power and this is the form he’ll adopt in his next encounter with Finn. I said after No Mercy that I would like to see Bray recruit Balor in some manner and this may finally be the start of something interesting for them both.
Fingers crossed that Bray gets the better of Finn and they move onto recruiting other creatures into their family. I would fucking love to see him pay interest in a Broken Hardy Boy that’s been left to babysit Kurt Angle’s pretend love-child whilst rapidly reducing the number of bumps he has left in him. It wouldn’t take long to assess that he’s somewhat damaged.
Bray has the potential to be one of the best (or at least memorable) characters in wrestling history and should be submerged into more interesting/obscure/entertaining storylines. WWE has consistently booked him to waffle on for an hour, win on TV, lose on PPV and this hasn’t done anything for him in the long run.
Last week Enzo Amore and the Cruiserweights were at the epicentre of my praise, but now, everything has turned to shit after being left out on the side all week. Enzo wittered on way too long for my liking and I can imagine many viewers skipping forward until other people showed up on the screen.
I understand that he’s trying to generate heat, but twenty minutes of the same old shit is just going to make people tune/zone/space out and not properly engage in the show.
If WWE wants Enzo in one-hundred percent heat-seeking heel mode, they need to drop all the silly catchphrases…….at least just for a little while.
The current problem is that WWE and Enzo are dealing with crowds that (in general) would rather make the show about them by singing/shouting along with ANYTHING (see: people joining in Paul Heyman stating his own name) whilst playing with beach-balls or watching through/looking at their cameras and not the real-life action mere inches in front of them.
I know it seems like a drastic measure, but I think Enzo just marching down to the ring and freestyling some smack-talk without the five-minute song and dance beforehand would work wonders in helping everyone achieve what they set out to.
Turning the Usos heel, stripping down their colours and eliminating any element of audience participation has been very successful for them and I think that with a little more work, Enzo could follow suit in being a change for the better.
Oh yeah, I almost forgot about the masked cherry atop this mountain of faeces.
Kalisto finally jumped over onto the 205 Live roster and dropped Enzo. This isn’t the worst news ever, it actually makes a lot of sense and I wondered why WWE hadn’t moved him before.
My problem is simply that Kalisto doesn’t get excited to be the pinnacle of the show and the live crowd pretty much felt the same way.
Luckily, this wasn’t the final image shown before Raw faded out.
The rest of Raw consisted of a fragmented teaser trailer for the 2017 reboot of The Shield.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m confident that I’ll enjoy the ride once The Shield start smashing the shit out of stuff again, I just don’t think it’s entirely necessary to force their rebirth at the moment.
I’m still barking on from last week about this all being to help Roman and not the others. WWE will be praying that Seth and Dean will generate enough positive top babyface energy for Roman to leech off of for a while and they’ll be hoping it doesn’t bite them in the arse down the road.
I think it will all be smooth sailing until the time comes to split up The Shield again and Roman stays in the main event scene and Ambrollins get lost in the shuffle on Superstars or something.
Digest and discuss! Feel free to do so in the comments or via any of the means listed below.
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