Art0Donnell presents
WOWamania

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wdpvf58Hl2g

I’m almost peeved the great Art0Donnell got to one of the Women of Wrestling PPVs before I did, because there’s little chance of me being able to match this.

Oh, and some other stuff happened.

Cena was 2005 Cena for the first ten minutes. He’s always been fun when insulting people (hey, just like The Rock) rather than I AM GENERIC MAN AND I GENERALLY HATE EVIL. Someone complained that Cena was being misogynistic to an (and I quote) ”emotionally unstable woman”, but the important bit was seeing an evil woman who deserved it getting verbally chewed up and spat out, not the woman-hating aspect of it. I know that will be obvious to some people but sadly stupid people have internet too.

Sheamus won the Rumble and his match is maybe the 4th most hyped and most interesting match at Wrestlemania. Weird. Remember when winning the Rumble was used as part of an established feud rather than using the win to hopefully get someone over by itself?

The hell is Mark Henry wrestling for, isn’t he injured? If he is, you’d think they’d know better in 2012.

Truth and Kofi team up! Because they’re both black. And they pinned the tag champions in a non-title match. That’s wonderfully crap.

Ron Simmons in the Hall of Fame! The first black World Champion not named Bobo Brazil! He deserves it to be in the HOF. Funny story: Ahmed Johnson was talking to someone backstage (I forget who) and told them they wanted to be the first black world champion. The person pointed out Simmons had already achieved this, to which Johnson replied ”Oh, that didn’t count”.

They booked Otunga vs. Big Zeke. AND OTUNGA PINNED ZEKE CLEAN AFTER A MINUTE AND A HALF. This company really doesn’t plan long-term does it? You’d think they’d have Ace strike Big Zeke with his skateboard or something.

Undertaker’s promo was sticky. He sounded like that one Star Trek film where the Klingons awkwardly quote Shakespeare. The crowd WHAT’d him throughout too. Nothing is sacred. Triple H doesn’t want to end The Undertaker’s streak. Undertaker wants Triple H to beat him. It’s weird listening to Undertaker talking about wanting to lose and Triple H not wanting to beat someone knowing what these friggers were like with midcarders during 2001-2004.

Hell in a Cell at Wrestlemania! I’ll reserve judgement until I see it. I thought Undi/HHH was going to be terrible last year but enjoyed it.

There’s more heat for Bryan/Santino than there is Bryan/Sheamus. Santino loses to Bryan in less than a minute. What WWE thinks is a good idea and what I think is a good idea are two completely different things. Santino went from potential world champion to Jobber More Over Than Half The Fucking Roster in one day.

Cena’s spiel is about how much The Rock sucks and does films and has people write his stuff. Pot? Kettle? Awkward stuff here and most of the crowd knows it, as Cena sounds unlikeable because none of his films did 1/457565th as well as any of Rock’s. Also amusing how Cena is doing the British politics thing and saying ”Please cheer for me because the other guy is worse”, which ISN’T WHAT MOST PEOPLE WANT FROM A WRESTLING FEUD. Let me like or hate the guy, I don’t want to see him beg for cheers.

Battle Royal to decide who faces Punk at Wrestlemania! Jericho is in it. So are Santino, Kofi and Truth. Did they only bring half the roster? Great Khali gets eliminated less than a minute in, which would usually be bad but given that most of the matches have lasted that length tonight, he still retains what little aura he has.

Dolph gets tossed out by Big Show onto Barrett and Truth…Dolph splats on the announce table face-first and Barrett suffers an arm injury. ANOTHER injury? And you sadly know it’s genuine because he’s shouting ”FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK”. Kofi also nearly splats himself avoiding Vickie on the outside as he is tossed. Jericho wins a pointless match.

Overall Some entertainment overshadowed by a bunch of negatives. Same as every week, then.

RageHate in Bold and Caps Lock: HEY WWE! THOSE GUYS YOU’RE OVERWORKING, NOT GIVING ANY STORYLINES TO AND HAVING LOSE IN LESS THEN A MINUTE? THEY’RE THE GUYS WHO WILL BE HERE AFTER WRESTLEMANIA, NOT UNDERTAKER OR TRIPLE H OR ROCK. JUST SAYING.

(Thanks to the guy/gal who made and brought the sign, let me know your name if you want thanking!)

Stylin’ Saturday and Shit Match Sunday are cancelled for this week as I am spending the weekend reacting wildly to my iTunes deleting an important playlist by itself.

I have over the years managed to streamline the video making process by keeping a constantly updated list of songs in order of length that was nearly 500 songs long. Usually iTunes would ask me if I really wanted to delete a playlist so I wouldn’t do anything foolish. iTunes managed to get around this silly failsafe by outright deleting it all by itself! Clever iTunes. Even better, there doesn’t appear to be anyway of getting it back.

It’ll take a while to put it back together, but it’s really not that big of a deal. I still feel the need to rage to get it all out of my system, but by tomorrow and Elimination Chamber I’ll be like this:

Animation & Gaming Ohio

Two holidays in one year and it’s barely Spring. I’m so undeserving of all this. My next career move is going to be ‘Footballer’.

Maffew will be hosting a Botchamania Panel (no, really) and also be commentating for the Cosplay Wrestling and also the Bizarro Wrestling events taking place at the con. What are these two events? Beats me, looks like you’ll have to turn up to find out! (or wait for the inevitable recordings to pop up on YouTube a few days later).

Thanks to the kind, generous and wonderful people at A & G Ohio for PAYING FOR MY PLANE TICKETS, a fact I am more than willing to brag/promote.

Full of more drug-induced ideas than SmackDown booking, it’s Botchamania 201: Tower of Owen Hart!

Music…
Next Battle! by Hideyuki Fukasawa (Ultimate Marvel Vs. Capcom 3)
Special Stage by Howard Drossin (Sonic 3)
El Chavo del Ocho Theme
File Select by Koji Kondo (Super Mario 64)
Countdown Theme
Stage theme 1 by Kazuo Sawa (River City Ransom)
Controls by Hajime Hirasawa (Star Fox)

Thanks to…
DAREALGUMMY for suggesting El Chavo del Ocho
BillZero for the Puro clips.

WrestleTalkTV asked very politely if they could be at the start of a Botchamania.
It’s for The Great Ormond Street Hospital Children’s Charity, so checking them out on YouTube (which I can’t link to via youtube description, but it’s easy enough to find) is encouraged.

Botchamania is also very happy to announce a new sponsor that’ll be announced (well, appearing) next video.

I ask this on a regular basis on the Botchamania FaceBook, so I thought I’d ask on here too: Anyone have any music requests they’d like to suggest? Preferably video game music as they’re more likely to stay on YouTube than ‘normal’ songs.

I love Trent as much as I love blueberries.

And yes, this will be a regular thing. There’s way too many wrestlers who namedrop this little video series for me to let it go un-noticed.

CANNOT UNHEAR THE SHOCKMASTER SINGING.

There’s no way this needs a ‘real’ write-up or analysis, but if you do want one, you can get one here.

I love Tenay’s completely unexciting start to every TNA show. He couldn’t emote a fart after a plate of baked beans. Tonight we have Borash to help generate excitement as Taz is dealing with a loss in his family.

Zema Ion vs. Jesse Sorensen
The opening match got cut short because of the above. Before that, Jesse did all the things you’d come to expect from him. Shima is still cute. Weird when real life actually interjects in TNA, as I never think ”Oh, so and so must be injured”, I automatically assume it’s an angle and wonder where they’re going with it. The poor guy ”remains hospitalized with a neck injury. He has feeling in his arms and is able to move them. He has a tingling sensation in his legs but is unable to move his legs at this time. Sorensen’s spirits are said to be high despite the circumstances.”

Robbie E vs. Shannon Moore (TV Title. Yes, really)
Robbie E. does Zack Ryder better than Zack Ryder. Robbie T does ‘Standing, looking big and pretending to listen to ear’ very well. Shannon Moore doesn’t do anything well. The match was just…there, Robbie T suckerpunched Moore and got the win. Robbie E is an entertaining character but his offence is too generic to get me into his matches. Moore as the supposed fan favourite did virtually nothing to get the crowd into it either. T did everything that was asked of him, which admittedly wasn’t much.

Tara vs. Gail Kim
These two are possibly the best female wrestlers on the roster and they tried their damnedest with OCTOPUS HOLDS (!) but there’s very little in the way of character (again) to care about here. Plus the women’s division is only slightly more full than the tag team division.
Tara moonsaults off the top…with a bad leg. Sigh. She’s never been the same since she left Birds of a Feather. Kim gives her the ”Eat the Feet!” and takes the win.

Joe & Magnus vs. Crimson & Morgan
Crimson is still unpinned apparently. That’s the worst streak since Mae Young at Rumble 2000. Also, say it with me….FROM THE ISLE OF SAMOA, THE SAMOAN SUBMISSION MACHINE, SAMOA…JOE-AHHHH
I’m glad Morgan & Crimson wear different colours. Crimson is chinlock’d by Magnus and Morgan riles the crowd. Wait…are Crimson/Morgan the FACES? Not sure if it’s the crowd or the audio, but the crowd has been at ‘Church Mouse’ levels so far this night. Maybe Wembley and real fans have spoiled me. Joe & Magnus use their snapmare/top rope elbow to take the pin and the titles! (via pinning Morgan) Borash & Tenay have NO EMOTION WHATSOEVER regarding the new champions. They’re like two wank robots. I’m liking Joe/Magnus as Joe gets the chance to look good after months of looking shite and Crimson/Morgan are no longer the champions. Win Win!

Bully Ray gives an excellent promo backstage, insulting Chirsty Hemme to the best of his abilities. Everyone in the fourway has had one so far, but Ray’s was the only one worth mentioning.

Austin Aries vs. Alex Shelley
Shelley returns to PPV! He’s looking sweet too. Crowd finally comes alive to cheer for both men. Aries is TOO good right now and has the Kevin Steen effect of being a heel so damn entertaining it’s hard to boo him. Very fun match featuring a ton of effort from two over guys with discernible personalities. We don’t ask for much. Felt like a PPV match, unlike everything else so far on the show. Aries at one point DVD’s Shelley on the ring apron, which I wasn’t a fan off but everything else was great. Aries retains.

AJ Styles vs. Kaz
Styles vs. Kaz was another very good match and Kaz actually got to pin someone on PPV. They seem to be redoing the ROH 2002 storyline with Kaz getting the push (like Xavier) and Daniels assisting him wherever possible, mostly via smirking and looking evil. Styles cost HIMSELF the win too, rather than evil Daniels hitting him or something. Styles wasted time and effort by moonsaulting Daniels on the outside, so Kaz grabbed him and unleashed the I Love Metallica slam for the win.

Garrett vs. Gunner
Garrett vs. Gunner is my current contender for Worst Match Of The Year and it’s only February. Gunner is bland to the point where he could literally be anybody. Garrett is Scrappy Doo with a worse haircut. The crowd (mostly quiet all night) switched off completely here. Without a Wembley Arena or soundsystem to edit the noise the sad truth spoke volumes: No-one cares about Garrett. Guess which reaction TNA will continue to hear in their own heads? Gunner won after something.

Bully Ray vs. Jeff Hardy vs. James Storm Bobby Roooooooo
The main event delivered enough effort and entertainment (everyone chimed in, even Hardy) and for once the finish wasn’t obvious. After twenty minutes of suplexes, uranages and wondering why Sting has BLUE and white face-paint, Sting accidentally struck Hardy with the TNA belt and counted the pin grudgingly for a very happy Roode. Quality effort, even if most of the focus was on the Special Enforcer than any of the feuds within the match.

The PPV in three sentences…
Three good matches, an injury, a title change, a shite match, a whole lot of average and one SILENT crowd. TNA in 2012 is definitely not the same TNA from 2011, 2010 etc. Instead of being frustrating and stupid however, it’s main complaint is how staggeringly dull it can be at times.

Sent in by Charley Dingboom.

I like it. John Cena is to square to even portray Johnny Cage, but The Rock’s physique is so large now he could be DLC in the next game.