Night of Champions 2012

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Added by September 17, 2012

Sprained Ankles, Paul Heyman and Disneyland.


Good!

  • The pre-show Battle Royal was quick and fun. The match was full of what I guess are WWE’s official Disposable Midcard Xperts (DMX) so I spent most of the time either going ”Oh, so-and-so exists! That’s nice” or ”Hey remember when that guy was getting a push?”  Ryder won and the crowd’s reaction was like that gif of Sean Connery fist-pumping:


”ALRIGHT, RYDER WON!…oh wait he’s wrestling Claudio. Shit, he’s dead.”

  • Miz vs. Sin Cara vs. Rey vs. Cody was fun and nice to see WWE rebuilding an IC division. Now all they need to do is stop them losing every Raw and Smackdown to The Millionaire’s Club and we’ll be dandy.
  • Bryan & Kane winning the Tag Belts half-accidentally is another chapter in the brilliant Kane and Bryan story. ”I AM THE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!” indeed.
  • Cesaro obliterated Ryder and in a nice change (aside from a faint ”Claudio” chant) nobody was cheering for Cesaro because Ryder is that beloved. Cesaro pins Ryder with The Neutralizer (BECAUSE HE’S SWISS).
  • Ziggler vs. Orton was just as good as the last hundred matches they’ve had.
  • Alberto Del Rio wrestled like a beast and if you just paid attention to his performance in the ring and ignored the storyline, he appeared legitimate. Shame it doesn’t mean anything, but credit where credit is due.
  • The Steve Kean campaign spreading to a foreign country.
  • JBL on commentary was a breath of fresh air. He hadn’t lost a step and also acted as a pacemaker for Michael Cole.
  • CM Punk vs. Cena still feels like a big match as they’re two guys WWE actually bothers to use Damage Control on.

Bad!

  • Crowd’s reactions to Rey and Cara going at it weren’t as enthusiastic as WWE probably wanted. They’d teamed up a few times on TV with no explanation and were wrestling in a match on PPV with no feud attached so go figure. It wasn’t quite Warrior and Hogan going at it at the Rumble.
  • The weird storyline-that-isn’t-a-storyline with The Prime Time Players being the No. 1 Contenders for the Tag Belts only to lose it to Bryan and Kane last week doesn’t seem to be going anywhere, does it? Although knowing WWE’s logic, their clean loss to Bryan and Kane will start a feud.
  • Also regarding the Tag Team Division, what now for Truth and Kingston? Kingston is likely not going to be anything else other than a midcarder who flashes with pretty moves (and there’s nothing wrong with that) but I miss crazy Truth.
  • All of Orton’s feuds: Orton beats them on TV for a few weeks, they get one sneak attack so they make a hype video to make it look like a feud, Orton wins on PPV. Which is great if you’re Orton but not too good if you’re a new guy the crowd wants to get behind. (Wade Barrett, Cody Rhodes, Dolph Ziggler…)
  • That fucking theme song.
  • Del Rio worked on Sheamus’ arm the entire match in a credible fashion. After applying his finishing hold twice, Sheamus shrugged it off and simply kicked Del Rio to win. It felt like a tacked-on ‘Hollywood ending’ to a film that shouldn’t have had one.
  • So the whole awesome Raw segment (that they played twice) was based around Cena claiming Punk would do anything to win a match as long as he held the belt…and the finish to an otherwise awesome match is Cena pinning himself. We don’t go from A to B in WWE land we go to A to Q, realise it doesn’t make sense, shrug our shoulders and run to Z.
  • Randy Orton telling us how he really feels.

Wrestlecrap!

  • Kaitlyn was injured backstage, apparently suffering from a sprained ankle so Eve replaced her in her DIVVASSS Title match and won it after some exciting exchanges involving nip-slips. The rumour going around a few weeks ago was Kaitlyn accidentally won the DIVVASSS Battle Royal, which I didn’t pay attention to because LOL DIRTSHEETS. Now with Kaitlyn replaced by Eve with zero notice, I’m going to go with ”Yes, Kaityln accidentally won a battle royal and yes, it is hilarious.”
  • Let me try and figure this out…the finish to a Fatal Four-Way sees Sin Cara pulling his spare mask over The Miz, who then accidentally hits his finisher on Cody Rhodes and wins the match. Miz and Cody didn’t an alliance so I’m still trying to ponder what the point of this finish was or if there even was one.
  • ”Paul Heyman kept CM Punk in WWE when everyone else wanted rid of him” BLAHBLAHBLAH I don’t care for any of this ‘real-life stuff not properly explained on TV and aimed at internet folks’ storyline malarkey.
  • CM Punk’s moonsault.

 

Overall!

  • There was reason for me to care all but two of the matches on the card (Del Rio/Sheamus and DIVVASS) and if you ignore some of the questionable decisions, the in-ring action couldn’t be faulted. Even Sin Cara delivered, which is probably the highest compliment I can bestow on a PPV.

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Paul Heyman: “Tonight we have the chance to say ‘yeah, you’re right. We’re too extreme. We’re too wild. We’re too out of control. We’re too full of our own shit?!’ Or we have a chance to say ‘Hey – Fuck

WWF King Of The Ring 1996

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Watched the only WWF PPV I haven’t watched in full before: KOTR 1996. Here’s the notes I typed on Twitter expanded in a nice presentable manner. Owen Hart’s commentating and Dox Hendrix is presenting, so let’s start the Various Notes!

  • johntcole

    Show sounded good but let me go off topic a sec and say that I have bought my final ROH iPPV after reading their bullshit “apology” today.  Fuck this company indeed.  Chikara is my number 1 indy fed now and I might give PWG a try too since they use a bunch of ROH talent.

    • David

      PWG is fantastic. It has been for years.

    • Brej

      PWG are on fire as of late
      Every show has delivered

  • Uncle Cletus


    JBL on commentary was a breath of fresh air. He hadn’t lost a step and also acted as a pacemaker for Michael Cole.” Too soon, man, too soon.

    I enjoyed the PPV judging on the quality of the matches. Only the DIVVASS match was skippable really and ADR?Sheamus, Miz/Masked Guys and Cena/Punk were all better than I expected.

    Wrestling logic sucks though. Booker reinstates the Brogue Kick because Ricardo is feeling better. Month long build up to the DIVVAS match gets chucked out half an hour before the bout. WWE Champ can’t even get a screwjob countout over Cena

    I’m off to join Kane at Disneyland

    • http://twitter.com/Kanta_Mizuno Ryan Alarie

      Because Eve wasn’t part of the build to the Divas match from the start, with her fake face turn and all. As far as Cena/Punk’s ending … Punk didn’t cheat or even go dirty for the whole match. Both men, without any outside interference, cheating, underhanded tactics, etc … were unable to beat each other. Having Punk “not lose” to Cena cleanly is a million times better than beating him in a screwjob, because the ONLY way Cena loses is when there is some kind of screwjob involved (even when he lost to Punk the first time, it was because Cena beat up Johnny Ace to prevent him from helping Cena win). So fighting to a draw works better than Punk cheating to retain.

      • Lwillmcninch

        i completely agree with ryan.  i liked this ending and it keeps the number two storyline of the summer/fall (kane/ bryan) going

        • Uncle Cletus

          FWIW I actually liked this ending, I was thinking more about the Raw1k and SS matches – would have built up Punk and not really damaged Cena for Cena to do the job in one of them.
          As for Eve/Kaitlyn, yeah I get that it’s a logical part of the storyline but I hate last mnute match changes – could’ve done the injury angle on Smackdown and had the same effect

    • http://twitter.com/Maffewgregg MaffewofBotchamania

      With regards to the pacemaker comment: I meant JBL kept Cole on his toes, it wasn’t meant to be a pun on Lawler. Who as far as I know doesn’t have a pacemaker.

    • I No Sold

      lol know one can talk about Lawler now? He had a heart attack, its life, it happens, get over it. 

      • Uncle Cletus

        It was said in jest, and purely because I thought it was unintentional on Maffew’s part.

  • Mr_DJ

    it’s always glorious seeing Punk botch :p

    • mrchopper

      DUH HE WAS LIKE DOING SIN CARA OR SUTIN YOU MARKS ARE HILLLARIOS

      • Randomguy1155

        That wasn’t even english.

        • mrchopper

          Capital E on the English. Good boy.

      • UncleCletus

        Are Hillarios ADR’s redneck cousins?

      • Mr_DJ

        what in the hell are you rambling about my good sir?

  • Eric

    Don’t forget Cena’s Running middle rope dive

  • Anti_bass_player

    looking at cm punk, has used savage’s elbow drop, now i see bam bam’s moonsault. what legends move will cm punk rip-off next? doink’s woopie cushion????

    • Govanni-e

      Punk has used the off-axis(crooked) moonsault for years in the indies, the only move so far he has used from a legend is the elbow drop, which isn’t saying much because Wade Barret’s second rope elbow isn’t all that different. + he has said he uses the elbow as a homage to Randy, and i’m just happy someone finally uses a Arial move as a signature so we can see some top rope action in the top card matches and don’t have it become stale like Jeff Hardy and his Swanton did.
      Arial finishers don’t really do it for me because you can see the end to a match coming miles away. With the elbow as a signature, you never know if he hit’s it. And as extra incentive he has ended matches with it.

  • http://tmacman.myopenid.com/ tmacman

    Christ, Sheamus beats ADR again?!….

    Vince (after MITB): Sheamus has beaten the evil ADR, HE IS SOLIDIFIED AS A GREAT FACE!!!!

    Fans: …meh.

    V:….errr….Try it again. *after Summerslam*HE IS SOLIDIFIED AS A GREAT FACE!!!!

    Fans:…Well he kind of cheated, I thought he might’ve turned?!

    V:…god damn it…re-do! *after NOC* He is…

    Fans: Are you burying ADR? I feel sorry for him now.

    Vince:….*facepalm*…That’s it, we’re unifying the fucking titles at Wrestlemania!—-

    The worst part is, I can easily see ADR vs Sheamus at HIAC happening.

    • Maturedsinner

      In which Ricardo will take a bump after entering the cell and jumping on the apron, ADR will apply the Cross Arm Breaker five times only to have Seamus break the hold or power out each time, and Seamus will win clean after one Brogue Kick.

      • Dynamo11

         WWE Creative is among us

  • 1 2

    Yeah, I dug it on the strength of the matches (especially the decent lengths), and, like you say, ~Sheamus-Del Rio was a good solid match if you forget their dire fued. Bryan+Kane was utterly surreal and priceless, Cesaro looked like an absolute beast, 4-way was good fun, but could have used a bit more flippy shit…
    Even including Punk’s decidedly sloppy moonsault, I loved the “and-the-kitchen-sink” mentality of Punk-Cena, with everything getting thrown out there. Cena’ s suicide dive, Punk’s Rock Bottom. It actually felt like they had to dig deep to beat the other guy.

  • Van Hammerstein Ballroom

    Punk went for the Terry Funk moonsault and instead pulled a Sabu.

  • FtheOpinionated

    lol crooked moonsault

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=694672015 Mark Robinson

    CM Punk went to the Bam Bam Bigelow school of moonsaults it seems…

  • http://twitter.com/PurpleDaemon a whimsical slide

    The Bad: DiBiase making such a lacklustre return. Would have made a better Battle Royale winner than Ryder.

    • http://twitter.com/Maffewgregg MaffewofBotchamania

      DiBiase hasn’t been shit since 2009 when he was in Legacy and even that’s debatable.

      • Uncle Cletus

        Ted DiBiase is pretty much in the “Oh, he’s still employed?” squad now.
        I’d love to know who MacIntyre has pissed off to get his monumental anti-push

        • Jjbjbjn

          There is no “a” in Mcintyre

  • mrchopper

    Obama could address the Steve Kean campaign and he’d still have a job.

  • http://twitter.com/Kanta_Mizuno Ryan Alarie

    The Kaitlynn thing always seemed like it was going as intended. There had to be a whole point to Eve’s “face turn” and sucking up to Booker T, being nice to the rest of the gals, etc. Throw in the random win against Kaitlynn during the “Kaitlynn beats the rest of the Divas to make her contendership legit” series of matches, and it makes sense they were setting up Eve’s “master plan” to get herself a title match.

  • http://www.facebook.com/matt.egnew Matt Egnew

    during the show I saw a big UMO sign that was reversed colors.
     

  • Bryce

    LOLZ at Punk doing his girlfriend’s moonsault.

  • Petersiddorn

    Dolph jobs again so when he finally cashing in the money in the bank briefcase he be like Jack Swagger a world champion no one give a shit about

  • Kettle Mutilation

    Haha Kean Out!

    I unofficially induct Maffew into the Dean Windass Hall Of Fame

    • Blah People

      Barry Davies doing a BM intro would give me wood. Ooooooooooh.

  • Blah People

    I loved the Steve Kean sign, it’s moments like that that the rewind button was invented for.

    Del Rio’s great, I’m still behind him winning the title, sadly to do that we need to see him against Sheamus twice more, which would suck. It’s also an interesting take on the wrestling stable, a lawyer and a ring announcer.

    I don’t know if I like the Cena/Punk thing, it’s a bit like Liverpool/Manchester United, I don’t think either character is behaving in a way that makes me want to get behind them, but I appreciate the scale of the match and can see the narrative is well put together. I find myself thinking ‘this would be so much better if The Rock replaced one of these’.

    Kane’s great, there’s a couple of moments where he veers the line he failed to when he was dancing with Santino, best thing in WWE at the moment, has been since the last couple of months before WMania.

    Good PPV, not been a bad one in months, WWE’s problems are things that you can fast forward these days (tOut, twitter reels, don’t try this, superstar packages and PPV/BA* ads) which is great for us UK viewers, as I never feel inclined to watch it live now, as I know half the show isn’t anything to do with anything for me (I’m getting the PPV, I follow the people I want on Twitter and my attention span is able to remember shit that happened last week, earlier in the night, or before the adverts).

  • http://www.facebook.com/tom.malloy Tom Malloy

    I agree about the music, it was awful. I really hope they made a ton of money pimping out that song. Also agree with that Punk moonsault. 

  • http://www.facebook.com/tom.malloy Tom Malloy

    Maffew, do you feel that Zack Ryder is this generations Brutus Beefcake?

    • Uncle Cletus

      Not really related, but I’m sure Scot Stanford called Brodus Clay “Brodi”

    • http://twitter.com/Maffewgregg MaffewofBotchamania

      I don’t understand that comparison at all. Ryder is over.

      • http://www.facebook.com/tom.malloy Tom Malloy

        Beefcake was over as fuck and stuck under the “Hogan’s buddy thing” Ryder of course is “Cena’s little buddy” 

      • http://www.facebook.com/tom.malloy Tom Malloy

        Beefcake was over as fuck and stuck under the “Hogan’s buddy thing” Ryder of course is “Cena’s little buddy” 

  • Inverse

    Ughh….. Another bad WWE PPV in a steady tradition of countless bad WWE PPV’s since 2007. Snooooreee.

    WWE is every bit as tired, old, unimaginative, stale, un-entertaining, painfully boring, predictable, and irrelevant to the modern day as The Simpsons are, except twice as uneventful and lame. WWE has completely lost it, and as an entertainment product, they just have no place in today’s culture anymore and is like a tired, half-dead old dog that just should be put down, already.

    ………….oh yeah, I forgot there’s an alternative wrestling product out there, somewhere. What’s it called again? TN something? TNA? Oh yeah, how is that going?

    ….goes to watch an episode of Impact…

    YAYYYY WWE!!!

    I mean… WWE certainly is stale, uneventful, boring, cliched, and ran-into-the-ground-past-the-point-of-cultural-irreverence, with a desperately uninteresting bottom barrel, struggining, snorefest of a sub-par-to-medicore-at-best product… 

    But then, I look at their so-called “competition” over on Spike, and it, by comparison, just fills me with the desire to run back and buy an overpriced WWE T-shirt of some lukewarm, generic John Cena benchwarner midcard with a vapid sounding name and below-standard, half-cocked vanilla-flavored half-rip off of 27 better guys before him like Del Rio or Ziggler, or some cartoon character half-wit camera mugging, no-talent goofass like Zack Ryder or Santino.

    I mean, it’s either the barely talented semi-someone’s with basic characters, and lackluster identities with a decent-to-passable work ability in the WWE…. or…. the land of meth-head drugged up, stumbling losers like Jeff Hardy, pathetic shell has-beens like Kurt Angle and Sting, and a bunch of indie-riffic nobodies who would look piss-poor and underqualified to even be on NXT.

    If I have to choose between eating the moldy, stale, lint covered, tastless salty bread of the WWE and the festering, disease-ridden fecal log of TNA, I think i’ll stick with the stale bread.

    So basically, Night Of Champions was crap. Big surprise. But at least it’s still crap I can swallow.

    • Trainvelyan

      Where’s Dr. Shelby when you need him?

    • johntcole

      You must be a joy at parties.

    • tmxicon

      If it is as bad as you say it is you can just stop watching, you know. It’s really easy. There are endless channels to choose from. Hell, you could turn of the TV all together and do something else. Oh, what’s that? The issue is you still want to watch wrestling? Gee, if only there was a website that would allow you to take the money you’d spend on that WWE pay-per-view and instead use it to purchase content from wrestling companies all across America or even, and make sure you are sitting down for this one, from around the world. Boy, if you could only find a website like that. You know, something that wouldn’t even require you to do anything but scroll up and click a banner. I guess the technology to do such a thing must be lacking…

    • tmxicon

      If it is as bad as you say it is you can just stop watching, you know. It’s really easy. There are endless channels to choose from. Hell, you could turn of the TV all together and do something else. Oh, what’s that? The issue is you still want to watch wrestling? Gee, if only there was a website that would allow you to take the money you’d spend on that WWE pay-per-view and instead use it to purchase content from wrestling companies all across America or even, and make sure you are sitting down for this one, from around the world. Boy, if you could only find a website like that. You know, something that wouldn’t even require you to do anything but scroll up and click a banner. I guess the technology to do such a thing must be lacking…

  • http://dollarbinblues.blogspot.com/ Jamie

    WWE is great at building new stars as long as their names are Cena or Orton.

    I really like Ziggler, but I can’t be bothered to get interested in his matches because I know he’ll lose. He’ll lose to Orton. He’ll lose to Sheamus. He’ll lose Cena. Ironic, considering his last feud was about how Jericho could never win “The big one”.

    It’s the same thing with Del Rio. And it’s so painful watching them feed the same guy to Sheamus for months on end (first Bryan, then Ziggler, then Del Rio) to try to get him as over as they want him to be. With a roster this thin, they should be trying to work on elevating guys (perhaps by having them win feuds with the part-timers, but I digress.) Especially with Orton just coming back from suspension and about to go off to film a movie, would it have killed them to give Ziggler a win?

  • mortifiedpenguin

    ”Paul Heyman kept CM Punk in WWE when everyone else wanted rid of him”
    BLAHBLAHBLAH I don’t care for any of this ‘real-life stuff not properly
    explained on TV and aimed at internet folks’ storyline malarkey.”

    Correct me if I’m wrong but I could’ve sworn what they said was that Heyman was the only one who wanted him brought in to WWE in 2005. That’s why Punk is aligning with Heyman now because he was the only one who wanted him and convinced WWE to sign him.

  • http://www.facebook.com/mark.hague Mark Hague

    The Bryan/Kane thing is probably the best thing storyline wise that WWE has done in a while. It maintains a little credibility yet pumps in the funny, and tbh it’s a shame it won’t last. They could do with maybe pushing Bryan into a feud with Sheamus and have him re-win.

    What I don’t get is why they don’t have several number 1 contenders vying all the time. Isn’t that how it used to be? THe contenders would fight all the time, move up, move down, maybe you’d get a rare match like a Fatal Four Way or Falls Count Anywhere kind of championship match. Instead (and i only recently started watching again since around Summerslam) it’s just Punk V Cena, and Sheamus Vs Alberto Del Rio. ANd Cena sucks, even his home town was booing him. If you’re going to have him in the title game at least put someone else interesting there because it seems less and less like a constantly contested and desired title that people are always striving towards and just Cena and his placeholder.

    Also I am mesmerised by the moonsault gif.

    • 1 2

      Re: Bryan. WWE had a fued that sucked people in with Bryan and Sheamus, and
      accentuated both of their strengths… which they saw fit to blow off as
      swiftly as possible, and would probably have ended the Raw after Mania
      if it weren’t for the backlash. Genius.

      I am enjoying this whole thing with Kane – it’s funny, hopefully elevates the tag titles, and both have in-ring skill, but do want to see extended wrestling matches from Bryan, like his matches with Punk, Ziggler, or the 2/3 Falls with Sheamus. Hopefully it won’t be too long before we get that back.

      • http://www.facebook.com/mark.hague Mark Hague

        I seem to recall someone or a few people who held multiple titles at once and had to defend them at PPVs? Like they were Intercontinental and Tag Team champ and their partner also had another belt. So Bryan and Kane could remain partners, but Bryan could also pursue higher titles and have Kane around as his manager/valet/whatever it is called during those matches.

        Having only recently been drawn back into it, I really like Bryan, he’s one of the first non-generic muscle heads that has been in WWE in a while and while Ziggler fits that mold, I’ve also become his fan as well. Would be nice if he weren’t perpetually jobbing as he will now never be a particularly credible champion. I’m just glad they haven’t resorted to having Punk cheat to retain yet.

  • TotalMark

    Vader doing that moonsault: Amazing

    CM Punk doing that moonsault: “Poopy”

  • stonecoldku

    I am probably going to get blasted by other people for this, but can we stop with the Cena can’t wrestle crap. Every match he has had with Punk has been great hell they stole the show Sunday and that is saying something when the PPV had a match between Orton and Ziggler.

    • 1 2

      Yeah, I have no problem with admitting he’s pulled off pretty good matches, and the “Cena can’t wrestle” mentality seems to be dying down a bit. Crowd tried to start a “we still don’t care” chant after the suicide dive, but it really didn’t catch on, which made me laugh.

  • Dynamo11

    I really enjoyed NoC, the wrestling was top-notch stuff throughout.

    • 1 2

      Likewise. Thought that the scheduling was good too – Summerslam had too many interesting matches struggling for attention that they all felt a bit meh, whilst every match at NOC was well-placed and well executed.