-Originally aired March 31, 1984.
-Your hosts are Vince McMahon & Gene Okerlund.
TITO SANTANA (Intercontinental Champion) vs. TONY RUSSO
-Top wristlock by Russo is turned into an arm wringer by Tito. Arm wringer by Tito; Tony tries to break it with a drop toehold, but Tito actually hangs onto him through it and turns it into an armdrag. Hiptoss and another armdrag by Tito. Tito has a clear advantage, but Russo changes it on the fly with a series of punches. Armbar by Tito. Russo applies a side headlock, but Tito clamps on the armbar again and flips him. Gene marvels at the completeness of Tito’s package.
-Tito applies another armbar and if you couldn’t see the picture, you’d swear this match was being done in an empty arena. Punches are exchanged before Tito says “Hey now, enough of that” and reapplies the armbar, turning it into a hammerlock. Russo begins showing some fire with clubbering and kneelifts. Victory seems imminent for Russo, but Tito swerves him with the flying forearm for the three-count. I could have watched this match all day, and for a moment, I thought we were going to.
-Vince, apparently without cue cards, recaps Bob Backlund’s loss of…the WWF title and his…attempt to…come back…from his injury.
“Dr. D” DAVID SCHULTZ (with Rowdy Roddy Piper) vs FRANCISCO VASQUEZ
-This crowd doesn’t even appear to give a shit about Piper, which is saying something. Vasquez is absolutely ripped to the gils.
-Schultz applies a front facelock and connects with a headbutt to ground Vasquez. Slam by Schultz and he follows with another front facelock. Schultz slams Vasquez into position and goes to the second rope to finish him with the flying elbow.
GREG “The Hammer” VALENTINE (with Captain Lou Albano) vs RUDY DIAMOND
-Jesus, this match-up again? Albano goes on a looney rant about how Diamond is black, but his feet are white, so he must soak them in Clorox. Hilarious how Lou’s tirade is loud and clear and unmistakable, but Vince’s reaction is “Uh, he seems to be making some sort of comment…”
-Valentine dominates while Vince reads some viewer mail from somebody who doesn’t like Paul Orndorff. I can’t begin to do this letter justice, but there is NO WAY that a fan wrote it. The “fan” wonders who Orndorff thinks he is, calling himself “wonderful,” but balances her own argument by remarking that he’s a skillful wrestler with a devastating piledriver.
-Valentine finishes with the figure-four to continue his Rudy Diamond hot streak.
“Mr. Wonderful” PAUL ORNDORFF (with Rowdy Roddy Piper) vs. SANTIAGO RIOS
-The jobber has a name that sounds like it should always be preceded by the phrase “my dreaded arch-nemesis.”
-This is from Championship Wrestling, and THIS crowd is wide awake and completely pisses off Orndorff with a “Paula” chant. Orndorff takes it out on Rios, tossing him to the floor, yanking him back in, and executing a back suplex that nearly puts Rios straight down on his head. Orndorff takes his head off with a clothesline and finally puts him out of his misery with a piledriver.
-Piper welcomes Private Terry Daniels, wearing Marine dress uniform. Piper explains that he is the first member of Sgt. Slaughter’s new Cobra Corps. Piper says that Marines aren’t as tough as the movies make them out to be and Daniels explains discipline. Daniels says he’s proud of his country and he’d go anywhere that Sgt. Slaughter tells him where to go. This segment is really starting to turn a corner, because this promo went a LONG time compared to what it had been, and Piper is starting to figure out how to give his guest the rub with this segment, because he managed to make a new guy with no mic skills look like a star here.
COWBOY BOB ORTON vs LEE WONG
-Cowboy makes his debut this week. Orton works the arm as Roddy Piper suddenly makes his way to the ring to watch the bout. Orton slams Wong down and drops a knee as Okerlund c asually notes that although Orton is a skillful wrestler, he sometimes breaks the rules. Superplex by Orton gets the win, and Piper runs in to raise his hand to formally align himself with the new guy.
ROWDY RODDY PIPER vs SPECIAL DELIVERY JONES
-Piper works the arm and then just DROPS Jones with an uppercut. “S.D.” chant goes up while Piper rakes the face. SD gets a sunset flip out of nowhere for two. Thumb to the throat by Piper. SD gets fired up and connects with a headbutt to daze Piper. Beel throw sends Piper across the ring. Atomic drop by Jones and the crowd is coming unglued for SD Jones. SD goes for a backdrop, but Piper thinks quickly and counters it with a neckbreaker, and that gets a three-count. Piper is a totally arrogant dick post-match despite the fact that his win came off looking like a total fluke. Awesome.
IVAN PUTSKI vs JOHNNY RINGO
-Ringo applies a side headlock and Putski just lifts him and throws him off. Shoulderblock by Putski and the jobber very gently plants himself on his ass to sell it. I’m all for working safely, but damn. Putski applies a headlock. Vince notes that next week, Bob Backlund will be in action, and his opponent will be Formidable Opposition. Sounds like a masked guy.
-Side headlock by Putski and then he just moves on to the Polish hammer to end it. Post-match, they clarify that Backlund’s opponent will be Ron Shaw. Well, that’s bait-and-switch, isn’t it?
FINAL THOUGHT: Well, you can definitely tell they decided which pony to hitch their wagon to on the heel side. Pretty out-of-the-ordinary week for the time period, given that they were so clearly focused on one guy for the full hour, but it was a solid show.