Originally aired March 10, 1984.
-The new opening debuts! Hulk makes his way to the ring in MSG, beats the Iron Sheik, and celebrates with the title belt to the instrumental track of “Thriller.”
-Your hosts are Vince McMahon and Gene Okerlund.
TITO SANTANA (Intercontinental Champion) vs CHARLIE FULTON
-Collar-and-elbow goes nowhere. Tito goes to a hammerlock and Fulton goes to the ropes. They go to the mat and Fulton gets a near-fall, but Tito rolls out and applies another hammerlock. Shoulderblock and a snapmare into a side headlock by Tito. Fulton backs him into a corner and fires off a series of forearms, and Tito is dazed. Fulton rams him from turnbuckle to turnbuckle.
-They begin to trade punches and Tito manages to send him into the ropes and meet him with a flying headscissors. Flying forearm finishes, to the relief of the crowd. Actually a pretty decent match for a squash.
IRON SHEIK (with Ayatollah Blassie) vs. ANGELO GOMEZ
-”We want Slaughter!” chant fills the arena and Sheik is none too pleased. Stomachbreaker by the Sheik and he gets distracted by the “USA” chant. Backdrop by Sheik. Gomez gets a few punches in, but a Controversial Boot knocks him right back down. Belly-to-belly suplex by the Sheik, and the camel clutch finishes.
SUPERFLY JIMMY SNUKA vs BUTCHER VACHON
-Jjjjjjjjjoe McHugh announces “From the Fiji Islands…” and the crowd busts a nut. This is Snuka’s return after a few months off. Butcher attacks from behind and hammers him down. Series of uppercuts and eyerakes by Butcher. Snuka shows life with a series of chops and slams and the crowd loses it. Captain Lou Albano shows up just as Snuka heads to the top rope and finishes with a diving headbutt.
-After the bell, Snuka spots Captain Lou and attempts to have a confrontation. Snuka throws a single punch and Captain gets the hell out.
ROCKY JOHNSON & TONY ATLAS (Tag Team Champions) vs IRON MIKE SHARPE & FRANK WILLIAMS
-Hey, Iron Mike Sharpe! Woot! Howard Finkel steps in to remind us that Iron Mike is the #1 contender for the Intercontinental Title, and he’ll be challenging in Boston on St. Patrick’s Day. Use him as a jobber or use him as a mid-carder guy, but don’t try to sell him as a mid-card guy when you’re using him like any other jobber on your weekend TV. And yes, it does feel a little weird, silly, and pointless to offer a critical word about absolutely anything that Vince McMahon did in 1984. Like what am I supposed to say? “Geez, you can’t expect to stay in business doing this nonsense, Vince! Duh!”
-Anyway, Frank takes the brunt of the ass-kicking while Iron Mike stays on the apron and acts indignant about the “WIMP” chant from the crowd. A mere bodyslam is enough to put Frankie away.
-Tony Garea returns and this time, he brought a friend! Tony and Hot Rod are already arguing at the beginning of the segment, and Piper turns to Brian Blair and tells him that he’s asking for trouble by agreeing to be Tony’s tag team partner. He’s lost five tag team titles, and he’s washed up, and Blair shouldn’t let himself get jinxed. Brian gets out one sentence and then Tony suggests he just get up and walk out. Man, Piper’s Pit actually took a little while to get off the blocks.
GREG “The Hammer” VALENTINE vs SPECIAL DELIVERY JONES
-Elbow, slam, and a backbreaker by Valentine. Valentine applies an armbar. SD fights out and they trade blows. Blackbutts send Valentine out to the floor. Valentine, from the floor, hooks the leg and snaps it over the apron. Back inside, Valentine finishes with the figure four.
-Vince McMahon reads a letter from a fan asking why tag team matches don’t have two referees. The signature on the letter, I’m guessing, reads “Gorill—uh, I mean, Leon from Kentucky.”
SGT. SLAUGHTER vs RENE GOULET
-Slaughter has some new red, white, and blue gear this week. Rene slaps Slaughter twice and then turns his back, which ends badly for him. Slaughter chokes the shit out of him, elbows him down, and follows with a backdrop. Rene, a slow learner, bites Slaughter. Irish whip and Slaughter gives that his patented sell. Goulet puts the boots to him, and Slaughter gets fed up and launches Goulet over the top and onto the floor.
-Goulet attempts a suplex on the apron, but Slaughter reverses it and finishes with the cobra clutch. Slaughter is so pissed off that he stomps on Goulet’s body after he’s already passed out.
IVAN PUTSKI vs TONY COLON
-Ridiculous opening bit sees Colon apply a top wristlock and Putski counters it by using his arm straighten out his other arm. It might not read so awful, but it just looked silly and totally exposed Colon as not even applying a move in that situation.
-Gene Okerlund marvels over Ivan Putski’s impressive package—did people not use that term in 1984 or did everyone find it hilarious and decide not to clue Gene in to what he was saying?
-Colon ducks the Polish Hammer the first time, but not the second time, and Putski gets the three-count.
FINAL THOUGHT: Pretty uneventful week. Yeah, Snuka’s back, but everything else was in a holding pattern. Thumbs down.