Tweeting about TNA Turning Point 2012, so if you don’t want it spoiled…DON’T GO ON TWITTER IN THE FIRST PLACE YOU MUPPET. (Some British Fans complained about me tweeting about the previous TNA PPV because it’s shown on Challenge TV a few days later. Twitter is a newsfeed, I apologise for nothing.)
Magnus vs Joe to start off. I think they’ve been feuding longer than they were teaming. Not complaining, they deliver better than Papa Johns
Three man commentating team, I approve. Todd does all the work, Tazz gets a few token lines and Tenay does…er…
I haven’t checked anywhere, but I’m sure this is the image everybody has screenshot’d from Turning Point:
Boo/Tara vs. Eric/ODB works because Young and Miss Titty are ”well over” as they say in Blighty.
Boo gets kicked in the dick. Current match rating: *****
Young wins with the Banana Hammock American Flag Speedo Elbow Drop.
There was nothing bad about Joey Ryan vs. RVD and I popped for the commentators calling Ryan’s neckbreaker the Moustache Ride, but like Angle/Devon it was a set-up match for bigger things. Sadly that means Matt Morgan.
Doc vs. Joseph Park. Doc is ”an enforcer for some of the most powerful men in this business!” Power Uti?
The former Festus vs. the former Abyss. THE BATTLE OF THE FAKE KANES.
Doc needs a new name. So weird hearing Hemme trying to make it sound dramatic and it coming out as ”Doooocccc!”
Two Reasons To Watch TNA (Kaz & Daniels) take on Hernandez and Chavo ”Related to Eddy” Von Erich.
Daniels’ finger-tape makes it look like he’s constantly flipping the bird.
Kaz & Daniels bust out Gangam Style. Whatever makes them happy.
Chavo hits the Three Amigos. Which in his case is ”Eddy, Eddy and Eddy.”
Eddy ”Chavo” Von Erich and The Other Mexican On The Roster retain. Bah. (Apparently Hernandez isn’t Mexican. To paraphase Booker T ”Well, he LOOKS Mexican.”)
OH MY GOD, AJ Styles’ haircut looks like something from Blackadder Series 1. (Adam Wilson replied ”I’m led to believe his views on homosexuality are also from that era.”)
Styles/Storm/Roode was fun. Beer Money moves were resurrected! *wears cowboy hat, drinks beer* (The result means Styles isn’t allowed a World title shot until BFG next year. I wonder what Styles is going to now, other than feud with Daniels.)
I like the Devon storyline so far, it’s always nice when a heel turn is justified. TNA *did* release him/not hire him when he was TV champ so he was right, they don’t have his back.
Amazing that Devon is saying the exact same lines as he did in ECW. ”Don’t take this ass-whipping personally!” ”Shut the hell up!” etc. (He’s got a dramatic voice though, which is presumably why he’s been given so much mic time. WITHout further aDO)
Devon works on Angle’s neck, due to ”his well-documented past injuries”. Well shit, using that logic Devon can go after any part of Angle.
Got to wonder why Angle even bothers with the Triple Germans anymore. Crowd doesn’t react for any of them and they never get the pin. (The effort outweighs the result.)
Crowd is dead for Devon/Angle. Devon doesn’t have a varied enough moveset. He does three variations of a powerbomb/spinebuster in this match. They know it’s all filler for Bully/Devon anyway.
Angle makes Devon tap out of nowhere, crowd chants ”Eric Bischoff’ at Aces and Eights. ANYBODY BUT BISCHOFF, PLEASE.
Aries misses a kick on Jeff Hardy and Taz does his best to defend it. It goes as well as you’d expect.
Hardy is bumping like a man who should be on drugs if he isn’t already.
Hardy vs. Aries blew away expectations. BAH GAWD WHAT A MATCH.
Highlight being Aries activating the switch that operates the belt lift, so Hardy actually had a reason to get the Scorpio-sized ladder for a change.
Lies, highlight was clearly both men falling off one ladder onto another horizontal ladder, where they recovered and Hardy killed Aries with the Twist of Hate to finish.
Overall: TNA Turning Point 2012 was a bucket-full of good. If it was a drink, it would be Orange-Flavour Rockstar.