Wrestlemania Abridged (Part 2)

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Added by March 18, 2012

This was supposed to be one post made up of Wrestlemanias I-V, but my laptop crashed trying to load the page so I’ve split the pages up. RATHER LIKE WRESTLEMANIA IV AND V THEMSELVES! /snark
(I’ll be separating the categories via MatchesSegments and Crap. Because Crap is fun for some. And there’s plenty of it at Wrestlemania.  The following selections are my own opinion. Feel free to disagree or suggest your own lists.)

Wrestlemania IV

Matches

This will be shorter than Wrestlemania III, that’s for sure. Most of the wrestlers were bladdered, drugged or just plain tired at partying non-stop at the Trump Plaza.

Steamboat’s last WWF PPV match as Vince McMahon (allegedly) punishes Steamboat and the audience by robbing us of a Savage/Steamboat rematch because he’s VINCE MCMAHON, DAMMIT.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-CFDDpS-om4

Demolition and Strike Force have one of the only matches that actually gets a crowd response.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OHWBRmPq97o

And of course, Savage vs. DiBiase. Not just because of the match which is the highlight of the night but also because of the result and thee seeds being sown for next year’s Wrestlemania. Result!

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CDn9VXxnmQk

Segments

Hogan’s during Wrestlemania I-III: Dramatic. Hogan during Wrestlemania IV-V: Insane.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tyMBpbEh_n8

And of course, the reason Bob Uecker is in the Hall of Fame.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oiPCRqFB06g

Crap

Not just because of the awful ending but also watching Bigelow losing in 1988 when he should have been kicking arse and taking names instead. It’s sad to think the most one of my childhood favourites accomplished in the big leagues was ‘Lose to a football player’.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ma8TNSqEcc

Warrior debuts against Hercules. Where’s that .jpg of the WHO BOOKED THIS CRAP sign?

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0MEb7Nq13aY

Wrestlemania V

Matches

Another stupidly long Wrestlemania (rather like this article) that’s pretty entertaining if you only watch the good matches.

Mr. Wrestlemania’s first Wrestlemania appearance.  HBK and Marty spend most of the time making Boss Man and Akeem look good despite being wasted.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X0ZyCXl8z1c

Perfect debuts his now-famous wrestling attire and takes on Owen Hart, so you know it’s good.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OXpPOXzrVHg

If I need to give you a reason to watch Arn Anderson, then get off my website.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N3ulA2GdGVw

Rick Rude brought out the best in the WARRIOR because he was tough enough to take WARRIOR’S stiff offence and give it back to him, so both men looked good in their matches.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mP67IK-UlgM

Savage and Hogan is a worthy main event. All the way to the end, at least. After the big boot I tend to switch it off and pretend it ends like The Sopranos.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gkNiMC5hdY8
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BOwQ2oypkeo

Segments

THE WHOLE REASON I STARTED THESE ARTICLES WAS TO PLUG THIS INTERVIEW

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oyx9z1qUPS4

Crap

Bushwackers.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nwuuXRHoeKw

That took a lot longer than I thought but my loss is your gain. Agree? Disagree? Leave your comments and join me next time for Wrestlemanias VI-X! 

 

 

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  • http://www.mossercasting.com/PlanBFromOuterSpace PlanBFromOuterSpace

    I can’t wait until you get to Wrestlemania VII. Has Roberts or Martel ever talked about the blindfold match in shoot interviews or anything?

  • phillip

    is it just me or am i the only one not seeing six o the page except for the introduction for it.

  • Josh

    “Canadian flavoured, just like all the best women.”

    That’s it? How bout the fact that Warrior vs. Hogan was the best match Hogan had up to that point?

    • Todd

      WRONG

    • Craig

      I can’t agree with that, as all of Hogan’s matches with Randy Savage were really good. I’d say one of those was actually Hogan’s best match up to that point.

    • big baby chalmer

      put down the crack pipe, and step away slowly.

  • Slack

    I want to see if you can find anything other than Austin-Hart as good in WM 13. I don’t think it can be done.

    • Slinky malinky

      The 6-man Streetfight is pretty entertaining.

  • hitmanricks

    Great stuff. Loving these articles.

  • Total Mark

    I’ve always heard that the Sheepherders were capable of putting on brutally realistic matches in their day, but being American and born in the mid-80s, I only know them as the Bushwackers… which makes it hard to believe that they could have anything other than the match I’m seeing here.

    Also, Perfect should have wrestled somebody named “Hart” every night. He certainly deserved it.

    • Brownie_the_3rd

      I know what you mean, I was floored when I read on wikipedia that they put on a 5 star match and won as many titles as they did

    • masked superstar 3

      With the exception of teddy,Perfect vs the hart family would of been wrestling gold.

  • Mr. McMahon

    It’s so strange listening to announcers who actually add to the match instead of distract from it.

    • http://www.mossercasting.com/PlanBFromOuterSpace PlanBFromOuterSpace

      That reminds me, ten years from now when people are watching stuff from today, are they going to be asking “What the fuck is Twitter? What does trending mean?”.

      • Christopher

        Funny, I was thinking the exact same thing while watching TNA Victory Road.

  • http://theblogthattimeforgot.blogspot.com Taranaich

    “If I need to give you a reason to watch Arn Anderson, then get off my website.”

    Bless you for that, Maffew.

    • big baby chalmer

      indeed.

    • Total Mark

      Arn beating Muta for the TV Title is a sleeper favorite match of mine. It features some of the best commentary I’ve ever heard on a midcard match match.

      Cornette: “What the heck is goin’ on here?!”
      Ross: “DDT’s what’s goin’ on!!! DDT!!!”

  • Man Eff Rease!

    That Mr. Perfect vs. Owen.. I mean Blue Blazer match was great despite it being only being 4 minutes long. Shame..

    • BiffBashSmash

      As four minute matches go, that one was absolutely Perfect

  • Rassle Ka King

    “After the big boot I tend to switch it off and pretend it ends like The Sopranos.”

    The end of Hogan v Savage will, in my mind, be the most bullshite finish ever. Most Cena matches remind me of that terrible template. Face getting beat down for most of the match, kicks out of or reverses heel’s finisher, pops up, face hits finisher, 1,2,3.

    • BiffBashSmash

      Not as bad as Savage-Warrior at WMVII

      • http://www.mossercasting.com/PlanBFromOuterSpace PlanBFromOuterSpace

        Savage-Warrior told a pretty incredible story though, and Savage came out of that one looking like a billion bucks. In retrospect, it looks like Wrestlemanias 3-8 were ALL about developing Savage’s character.

        Even in defeat, he ascended in WM3 by having one of the best matches ever, before coming back in 4 to reach the top of the mountain. It goes to his head and he falls from grace in 5, ultimately losing sight of the big picture and floundering a bit (losing in a mixed tag at WM 6) before redeeming himself in defeat at 7 and ultimately taking back what’s his in 8. It almost doesn’t even matter WHO his opponents were or that he lost at ‘Mania more than he won, because even during a time when there were over a dozen (!) matches on the ‘Mania card, his character really stood out. Sure, most of the other matches on the cards didn’t really mean anything, but at least it’s not like today where they’re going to cram like 15 guys into a 10-minute match.

        • Total Mark

          Exactly. That’s why Vince felt so betrayed when Savage left. Forget the famous rumors…

  • http://pinfallmagazine.com PINFALLMagazine

    Jesse and Gorilla = the best commentary team ever.

    • durstand

      A-fucking-men.

  • Andyy

    MAFFEW! Important “VIRGIL” Update for you. you HAVE to hear this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e_TZEzFaI1k

  • CMfunk

    the titanic wouldve been saved if only the hulkster tied a rope around the ship, put the other end between his teeth, and backstroked everyone to safety BROTHA.

    hehe his backstroke looks like a hulkamania dance

  • http://flotsky.org flotsky

    “The Megapowers Explode” is another sextape from Hogan’s secret stash