WWF In Your House IV: Great White North

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Added by September 26, 2012

Tinker, Teacher, Razor…Why?

Good!

  • The Smoking Gunns vs. Razor Ramon & The 1-2-3 Kid is just storyline expansion for the slow-roasting 1-2-3 Kid heel turn, but it’s a fun match because everybody is liked by the crowd and it’s an actual damn feud with emotions and things. Razor seemingly ends the match after hitting the Razor’s Edge but 1-2-3 wants to get the victory…and gets his arse pinned after a crucifix. Kid doesn’t take it well and tries to steal the belts so Razor has to smooth things over. Razor had the worst luck in 1995.
  • Goldust debuts! If you weren’t watching during this time, it’s impossible to explain how amazing the character was compared to the other one-joke gimmicks and generic babyfaces the company was over-saturated with. Suddenly here was this insane-looking Oscar Statue come to life who constantly quoted films and felt himself at every opportunity. You couldn’t characterize Goldust in one sentence (unless you used an arse-load of commas) and that’s what was so mind-blowing about him. The match (against Marty Jannetty) is sloppy and 80% stalling, but both men seem intent on out-doing one another with the Jannetty Flip, which makes it alright.



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Bad!

  • Yokozuna vs. King Mabel. Yup. Even the reliable Yokozuna can’t make this match swell (ha, they’re both fat).  It’s five minutes long and they both get counted out on a PPV. Kevin Nash responded to the rumour he was going to wrestle The Big Show in 2011 by saying ”Why would anyone want to see that? I know four moves and I can’t do any of them to him!” Well, imagine Nash as black and Show as
    Samoan Japanese and you’re there.
  • MAKING A DIFFERENCE Rikishi vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley isn’t a great match but the fun comes from watching pre-thong Fatu and pre-Game wrestle. Hunter’s British accent is amazing (considering he’s hailing from Connecticut). Also amazing that these two would wrestle in 2000 and it would be a Oh-Shit-Kids-Stop-Doing-Your-Homework-And-Watch-SmackDown-Right-Now moment. H.O.G. shows up after the match too, joy of joys. At least this dude’s sign made it fun for three seconds:

Wrestlecrap!

  • The main event is Diesel vs. British Bulldog which on paper doesn’t sound that bad. Except Bulldog decides to forgo his usual power-based match and decides to dedicate his entire strategy to leglocks. This would be a good strategy in a MMA fight, but it means Diesel does nearly nothing other than lay on his back, growling. And it’s eighteen fucking minutes long. Eventually Diesel goes after guest commentator Bret and causes a DQ finish in the main event of a PPV. The match so annoyed Vince McMahon that he reportedly threw his headset off after the match was finished and verbally assaulted Diesel at ringside (who presumably sold it on his back, growling). On the plus side, it meant Diesel’s reign was coming to an end. Cheers Bulldog.
  • The sad story of Dean Douglas, Part Two. In between IYH III and this show, IC Champion HBK was involved in the now legendary GI beatdown in Syracuse, New York and had to forfeit the belt rather than drop it in a match due to Doctor’s orders. It should be noted (as explained in the link above which offers a ton of detail on this bizarre story) that Michaels was still advertised as due to wrestle on the PPV leading up to the event and on the damn pre-show. Only when the PPV started did Gorilla Monsoon add a cautionary ”Oh by the way Shawn Michaels may not be wrestling tonight, enjoy Mabel vs. Yokozuna”, making it the second PPV in a row WWF decided to cheat its fans. And the IYH PPVs were for the loyal ones, too.
  • So HBK can’t wrestle on this glorified episode of Raw (which was also missing The Undertaker and Bret Hart due to injuries). Cue Dean Douglas.

  • Michaels literally hands over the title to Douglas.There’s no justification for it storyline wise as the only thing Douglas had accomplished in the last two months was getting a fluke pin on Razor Ramon. In boxing and other places where common sense is prevalent they at least have an eliminator match for titles that have been stripped or vacated, who the hell wants a belt handed to them? And DOUGLAS of all people gets the belt put on him. I didn’t understand it as a kid and I don’t understand it as an adult. Well I do understand it, they panicked and realised advertising Michaels would generate more money than the potential buy-rate shattering Ramon/Douglas II. In the modern era it’s accepted that occasionally a wrestler with too little experience will hold a title he shouldn’t be wearing yet (Jack Swagger as World Champion, Orlando Jordan as U.S. Champion, most Tag Team champions etc.) but this was insanely stupid by 1995 standards when the IC belt still meant something.
  • But wait, here’s Razor to pull double-duty and save us all from stupidity. He does this by giving Douglas NOTHING, treating him like the joke that he was and further ridiculing the situation. After eleven minutes, Ramon gives Douglas a wussy-looking back suplex and pins him with one arm for the belt.

  • The finish comes out of nowhere and it’s clear Douglas has his foot under the ropes so they were presumably trying to set something up…but nothing came of it because Douglas’ attitude was annoying people backstage (presumably telling higher-ups ”Flair screwed me!” every five minutes) and no sane individual wanted to see Douglas/Ramon III or Douglas/Michaels or Douglas/Anyone. Still, Douglas is part of history to this day because his less than fifteen minute IC reign is the shortest on record and unless some nutter decides to cash his MITB on the IC belt, he’s probably going to keep that honour.  The one bright side of this entire farce is that Ramon got to please the fans after a year of making others look good.

Overall!

  • One of the weakest PPV cards WWF ever put out due to injuries, bad booking and just plain stupidity. Still impossible to look away though.
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